Yes, I have the time.

Tonight I got to hang out with a friend I met in another country. Okay, we met in the Portland airport but we don't remember that so move on.

Despite the crazy convention week she had, and the crazy of my normal life, we made time to see each other and it was awesome. We had convention drinks, Texas steak and hotel conversation. If we had planned this it wouldn't have been so perfect.

This is why life is worth living. I have been lucky to meet her in Costa Rica, travel and see her twice in Oregon, and she came here once - we made time.

Yesterday I wrote about not being too busy and today, we made time. Always make time, life is about being there for each other. Even a 30 second hello makes life worth living, the 5 hour drinks that turn into dinners are icing on the cake.

Take the picture from up high...

So I need to do my roots. 

Totally worth it to see Jenny again.

Listen and remember- we aren't always busy (it just feels that way)

As I sit in my backyard listening to the birds, frogs (maybe) and various sounds of dusk I had a thought: life moves fast but am I really that busy? The answer is no.

I know this isn't a new thought, we all have the 'life moves to fast' thought, and it does,  but even in the busiest of times, there is always a moment to just listen if you take it.  I am not saying that it is easy, I remember non-stop days of kids and the partner all going in different directions and me rushing to keep up (and failing) but looking back, I also remember those 5 minute conversations walking around the kitchen island with Billy, or the quick day recap given by Alex as I brush my teeth (I go to bed earlier than anyone in this house).  I remember the fleeting moments Bill and I had while drying dishes.  Sure, I remember the stress of rushing around too but not nearly as easily.

See, now I sit listening to my music and the sounds of dusk, watching my dogs and drinking my wine knowing that all the rushing of today - a different kind of stress from rushing as an empty nester - is done, I have found my time to just not be busy.  I found my time to sit and I am cherishing it nearly as much as I did those conversations and stolen moments because this time? This quiet is just as valuable as the crazy and reminds me of all those amazing times.

Rebuilding - not always easy but not always hard either! Give yourself a chance!

I have been writing mini-entries on FB about my OTF journey, but not on this blog even though I said I was going to write.  It isn't that I don't have entries in my head, I am constantly writing in my head, it is that they occur when I am in the car, at the grocery store, in the studio, or anywhere that I don't have a computer or even the ability to jot things down in one of my many journals.  The last entry was February and now it is the end of April.  In traditional fashion, I mean to write and then I let life take over and I just don't.  Well, today that ends (again) and it comes with a new promise to myself, I will NOT judge me if (and when) the stall in my writing happens again.

Life is full of ups and downs, everyone knows this.  April has been a month of rebuilding for our family since April 20th four years ago.  Rebuilding can be as small in scope as organizing a closet, preparing flower pots for spring, or changing your hair color.  Rebuilding can also be as large in scope as rebuilding a belief, starting a brand new workout, or learning to walk.  Here is the important thing to remember, rebuilding is daunting, it is your journey and you are allowed to be happy or sad, exhausted or ready to take on the world, feel any way you want.  Oh, and the kicker?  No one can make you feel any one way or another - only you can - but they can help make it all a little easier and worth it if you let them.  Sounds smart right?  Yeah, well, I don't live by it all the time, but I try!

This April was a rebuilding month (after a March with the flu and all the fun that comes with that recovery) - it was not always easy, and not always hard.  I have a new garden, cleaner kitchen cabinets, and thanks to a lot of work this weekend - clean carpets again.  I have lost the fear of going and working out with a new routine and new people and reminded myself that I am worth it, and there is nothing I can't do if I set wise and realistic goals.  In short, I have made small changes and am ready to end rebuilding April with a bang and finding those May flowers!

Oh, and to starting to write down all my crazy thoughts again, whether they are read or not!

March started with the attitude of Priscilla (and a little sass),
April ends with an attitude of I can do it (and a little sass)

Heading into crazy time - celebrating the little things

Fat Tuesday is almost upon us, in fact, in 1 more Friday I will be touching down in New Orleans where my many beads, tutus and MG family await so that we can ride in our Krewes, dance in the Garden District and pay the proper respect to both Pat O's and Marie Laveau.  Rest assured that I do not forget tiaras, they simply travel with me on the plane so they are not already in the Crescent City (unless I buy a new one again this year, then that one is still waiting for me in the store but I digress).

While Mardi Gras in itself may seem crazy to most, for me it is the time leading up to it and following it that is even more insane.  Between now and then I will be traveling to see family and friends - UD will beat SLU while I am cheering in red at the Arena, I have no doubt AND I get to see the Kiddo doing his thing, always awesome - working and doing other adult things.  Immediately following MG, we have a busy month of out of state weddings, games and a jaunt to CA for a race and some baseball.  Now you see my crazy, however, I don't mind it.  What I hold on to is the calm  - the routine of getting up and working out, feeding the dogs, hanging out with friends, working during the day and spending time with the Big Guy at night.  I find time to celebrate the little things like the fact that the dog didn't catch the rabbit, drinking wine on the porch with my neighbor in rocking chairs, the bed being made when I get home in the morning (and not just because I make it wrong, but because Bill rocks), What's App and SnapChat messages from the kids.  Sometimes it is hard to find the little things because life is overwhelming, I have A LOT to get done before the travel starts next week but sitting here, sipping coffee, looking over work email and writing this blog reminds me that the little things make the big things worth it.

Keeping in the theme of my last blog and my journey - I have a new little thing to celebrate today.  Green.  No, not money, while important, it is not the green I am talking about.  It is the colors of me in the green, and orange while still in my red.  Yes, check-ins at OTF help different charities (while giving them free marketing, something I also support), it also helps me and reminds me that I am not alone in my journey.  I have friends across the US in OTF and when I see them check-in, I feel like, even with the distance, we worked out together (yes Mel & Kim, I am talking to you!).  For someone who traveled and moved most of her life growing up, holding onto the fact that no one is more than a plane ride away and that we are still living life together is important, this has not changed as I have gotten older. Anyway, back to the celebrating my little thing - GREEN AND ORANGE!!!  Yes, I run red on the tread (I see what I did there 😂😂) but I am celebrating the green and the orange! What are you celebrating today?

Pretty Greens and Orange!!!!! 

A journey without a suitcase - but it has lots of color so why not?

I started a new journey last month, one that is personal in it's own way.  At 35, I started working out hard core and ran the first of many races.  Since then, I have completed numerous halves, a marathon and enough mud runs with obstacles to be considered a mud loving pig.  I really do miss a good mud run.  I have also gone up in down in fitness and weight, and when the weight goes up, let's be honest - it is harder to get the fitness back.  The word embarrassment comes to mind, but why be embarrassed about who you are?  Well, that is an age old question and I am NOT tackling the world here, only my world.

My new journey includes some pretty hard core fitness at OrangeTheory.  Today was distance day, and while I am a distance girl, even at a much slower pace than I ever was before, distance on a treadmill is a whole different story.  And then we need to add in the very daunting heart rate monitor that posts your effort range on very large TVs in the room.  The intent is to get green, orange and some red.  Now, I run red - shocking I know, drama everywhere - my heart rate runs very fast and it seems that I am dying if you look at the screen and yet, if you look at me on whatever device I am currently using, I could be singing or smiling (unless during all out - then I am full on game face, RBF has NOTHING on my all out face thank you very much).  My amazing coaches have assured me that I am good - and they are trained to know - at my 50 splat points while others work to get to 30.  Today, I still had my 48 splat points yet I somehow also managed 21 minutes in orange and 14 in green.  How?  No idea other than the distance run felt good - like, really good.  What is the point to all this build-up?  It is not an OTF commercial I assure you.

The point is I was scared to get back into working out with others, and I need others to be successful in my workouts just like my life.  Yes, the competition is against yourself - be better than the you of yesterday is not just a cheesy saying - but my old self was kind of badass and the new self?  Well, she is getting there again. This is all in my eyes, and how you see yourself is very important to your personal success. 

We are past the first month of dying new year's resolutions so now is the time - challenge yourself, not to be who you may have been in the past - stop comparing yourself to that person, rather challenge yourself to take on your fears (mine was humiliating myself in front of others while trying to better myself, I know, ridiculous) and get through them.  You might be in the best shape of your life right now, you might be exactly where you want to be, but as a human, there is something you are afraid to take a chance and do, DO IT!  Don't do it for me, or your kids, your loved ones, do it for YOU.  Find your green / orange, don't fear the red - and no, this does not only apply to fitness.  I hadn't written since October of last year...another fear overcome.  If I can do it, I know you can.

Reality - you are not alone

My public life (the SoMe one) is all travel, good times and fun but let's be honest, no one has a life that is perfect like that - okay, maybe someone does, but not me. My life is amazing, and I try to live every moment of it, good and bad.

This weekend was a weekend home after a week of reality - a welcome weekend home that was just as amazing as the weekends away.    The weekend was  mixed of mourning and celebration of life, comforting a dear friends and family, dancing and dining with friends.  Now, I am back sitting in front of my computer, where you will find me Monday-Friday, working on a job I really do enjoy, and that affords me the flexibility to work wherever I am.

Right now, as I sit in front of my computer, I am praying for friends, for family, for all of us as we all have things going on in reality that others may or may not (more times than not, it is the latter) be aware of or that is to be shared.  So here is what I say today - I am praying for all of you, whether you think you need the prayers or not, whether you believe in prayer or not, I believe in the power of prayer on my end. 

I am not praying for your happiness as I don't presume to know what you happiness is to you.  I am praying that you are at peace with where life is today because we cannot always change what is happening, we usually don't have control on that, but we can find peace going through good and bad times.  Peace might mean laughter and joy, peace might mean sorry and tears - peace can only be defined by you, you are the only one living your life.  Live in the moment, know there is someone thinking of you, and embrace the peace and know, you are not alone.

Me and my Llama

So I work with an amazing company as a part of my new role and I kid you not, they have a llama mascot. This Llama emails us new ideas, course, features, you know, helpful work stuff.  Why does this matter?  Well, because I used to sing 'Me and my llama, going to the dentist today' from Sesame Street (oh yes, I included it for your viewing enjoyment) and I like llamas. 

Enjoy adult types - and don't forget to take your llamas to the dentist, they have teeth too.

It just occurred to me, this company I work with is a learning platform (a very general description) and I learned a lot from Sesame Street - coincidence?  I am sure not!  Oh, and here's to Big Bird & Oscar the Grouch...live on fun friends!