That's a big stretch

 Walking in the door to a tired face that I rudely woke up by existing, then a big stretch and either a drive-by or a shift from one nap spot to another.   Hey Old Man.

It seems like a silly little thing, a part of life you are so used to doing that you can't imagine not doing it until it is gone. 

I have said hello and goodbye a lot in my life; yes we moved but I am also the type who doesn't talk to strangers rather, they are just people I haven't met yet.  I like to say hi to people as I am out and about with a smile as you never know who might need it.  I might not be a touchy feely person but I do love a smile or a wave.

These past few years, my family and friends have had to say goodbye far too much.  Some goodbyes are for people to take on their next adventure and those goodbyes are full of adventure and intrigue.  These goodbyes, while sometimes heartbreaking, have a silver lining as I love when people get to take a next step.  The final goodbyes can have a silver lining but it doesn't make them any less painful for those of us still here.  The silver lining is harder to celebrate and can be impossible to see.

Just like saying hi to people with a smile to feeling a connection, the final goodbyes are mine to experience in my own way too.  I believe in God, I believe he is waiting in heaven to embrace us and let us know how loved we are, how lucky we are to be chosen as one of his children.  I know when we say a final goodbye there is something waiting to embrace those whom we are saying goodbye to, there is something better than a smile.  

I know that there are times you have to let go, it is the right and kind thing to do - it is a smile in its own right.  

But then those times sneak in where I just want to say 'That's a big stretch!' one more time.

Teamwork makes the dream work

I hate when the kiddo feeds me that line, such coach speak and yet, it is big stick week which always gets me thinking.  Teamwork makes the dream work.

Right now, I am in the middle of a very busy year.  This is a great year, and keeps getting better, but it is busy and it is easy to feel overwhelmed and then...teamwork makes the dream work.  If you have read this blog ever (okay, more than for just a post) you know that I like to workout.  That might be an overstatement, I workout because I can and I like the comradery.  During April, I was doing the OTF Marathon Month for ultra miles and, as is my custom, did too many inclines and hurt myself which meant biking.  Then, last week, I started my first Peloton PowerZone challenge which mean biking.  Catch a few themes there?

Yes, I am biking a lot (I have padded shorts, don't worry).  Yes, I am probably working out too much as I have had 4 days of 2 a day workouts over the past week.  Why you may ask?  Well, we have weekend plans and I will NOT let my teams down.  Sometimes, you have to dig deep and stand up for your teams.  

My OTF crew is bad ass.  We are running, walking, riding, whatever we can to get our miles in studio with guidance from true coaches; the competition is only against the person in the mirror but you never know who is being motivated by you.  I can promise you, people would be amazed to know they motivate me - although I tell them as soon as I remember to tell them.  Today was the last day to get our miles and we did it, I even got to run my last set which I hadn't done in 2 weeks (slow and steady but damn it felt good to run again).  We all cheered each other on when we hit goals, even if we hit them weeks ago - we made it through the month together and that was worth cheering.  Why did we do this?  A cool pair of orange socks. We did not let each other down.  We are a team, we made the dream work.

My Ride or Die Trying Peloton group is also badass.  We aren't in a studio, most of us haven't even met, yet we are doing our 3 + 1AR rides a week to get our team points.  As is the case with the OTF crew, we high five (virtually), we cheer each other on through messaging, we are there for each other.  Today ended week 2 for me, of 8 weeks - we have a long way to go but we will not let each other down.  Why are we doing this?  Satisfaction and bragging rights.  We are a team, we make the dream work.

What else has me going?  Event planning is one of my passions. I love hosting people, throwing big or small parties, big or small events that make people feel special.  Then I had to plan my own wedding.  I never thought a small beach wedding would stress me out but here we are.  Let's talk about the wedding crew.  Most people don't know they are in it.  We aren't having a wedding party other than our amazing boys yet I am getting more help and support from people than I ever knew I needed, and I need it.  Some of the support is hands on, some of the support is talking me down (this happens often), some of the support people don't even realize they are giving.  It is support via SoMe posts, jokes sent, texts, snapchats, phone calls (when I answer the phone) that have nothing to do with the big day (112 days to go).  To stay consistent I can ask why are we doing this?  True love and a lifetime together.  This teamwork that is happening?  Well, it is making our dream work - actually it is making my dream come true.

Are you still there?  Big stick week was all about coaches being there for the kid, his community being there for him, his crew being there for him.  Well guess what y'all, my coaches have been there for me without even knowing it, my community has been there for me, my crews are here for me.  They got me through every class, every ride, every oh what the hell moment of the week, every wedding planning moment.  Without even knowing it, my crews, my teams are my big stick - they are making my dreams work.  I only hope I am doing the same for them. 

Let is simmer - in a good way

Crafty people love finding old pieces of furniture, or junk, to recreate into something new.  Heck, American Pickers is on in my house often and it is amazing what those guys find and it is a treasure.  I have watched many a trash to treasure show and wished I had that kind of talent, alas, I have it in my head but not in practice.  However, let's move to my favorite room in the house - the kitchen.

I have this knack for making leftovers into something completely new and creative, in fact, some of my friends can attest to my reinvent left overs dinners I have hosted.  I don't even admit they are reinvented leftovers until after the meal is over of course, I have to have some secrets!  This isn't about those, if you want some ideas, you know how to find me; this is about reinventing something used into something new, specifically a chicken carcass.  Stay with me now - I promise I have a good point.

My mother recently taught me how to make chicken stock from scratch (yes, she held out on me for YEARS, what is that?!) - any stock actually.  You put the bones in a pot, cover it with water, add spices - I use mine on the stem from the garden - garlic, carrots, veggies that are ready to be used, whatever you want.  Simmer in your crockpot or on the stove overnight, strain, cool, scoop fat and freeze in 1 cup bags.  Who cares?  Why are you still reading?  Good questions, I don't know but here is what I think...

Today's world is in such a hurry to change, such a hurry to get things done quickly, such a hurry to buy convenience,  such a hurry to throw things away, such a hurry to be in a hurry...is it so wrong to slow down, throw things in a pot and let it simmer?  This doesn't just go for the broth (that is making my house smell amazing), this goes for life my friends.  Before you lash out from behind your keyboard, simmer your thoughts; before you react to a situation or an option, simmer the facts, your experiences and the facts and experiences from the other side; before you write something off as trash, simmer how you can turn it into something new that will open doors for life.

Take a minute to let things simmer and blend into something new, you might just be surprised at how amazing things actually are, or how amazing things can be.

Thanks Mom

5 months and 7 seconds - oddly like life

Full disclosure time, as per the usual, this morning, I was doubting all the things (code for myself) and almost canceled my OTF class this morning as it was the one mile benchmark. 5 months after the last blog entry, here I am writing about the mile benchmark again - wow. 

 But Erin, you like endurance runs. 

Yes, self, yes I do. But I am also a very competitive person and having taken the second month of quarantine pretty much off from working out other than a run from time to time, I am really only one month back into workouts and a mile benchmark (1 mile timed) 5 months to the day after the last one was daunting. 

See, 5 months to the day ago I was still working out at least 5 days a week consistently, traveling, working and functioning like a normal human - if there is such thing as a normal human. Today? Well, I am not sure what this has been but normal is not the word. Back to the fear and dread of the 1 mile. I am competitive with myself, and only myself as I think other people are amazing at what they can accomplish even if they don't believe it, and I knew that 5 months ago I rocked a benchmark at a studio in Oregon in no small part because of a letter that was waiting for me with altered song lyrics from Coach Stephanie and Teresa letting me know I wasn't running without my peeps. 

Back to today, I am intentionally trying not to push the speed to much in my tread blocks as not getting hurt is the goal which means I have to accept that, in order to stay healthy, I may sacrifice some speed and that is okay - it is GREAT. Today I was back with our OTF Murphy 6:30am crew, even showed up way early so Teresa and I could be next to each other on Tread 1 & 3 (socially distance tread spacing thank you very much), Khahn rocking tread 5 and Penny rowing us through it. Coach Hannah on the mic with her ornery demure, at .5 miles you are half way through you know you can probably add a little more if you feel like it smirk that makes us all smile and dig a little more. I was singing lyrics to no necessarily (not even close) the music that was playing in my head and had the mandatory in my life towel covering my total time. I stuck to my plan and increased at every hash mark on the 'track' (1/4 of the 1/4 mile) until I hit my stride then stuck it for .25 miles until an increase, then a .1 increase for each of the last hash marks. I did not die, I did not throw up (yes, the thought was there, it is a much mental as physical for me), I pushed my towel off at .2 to go and realized I wasn't going to hit my last time but at that point, there wasn't anything I could do about it and that had been my plan for myself. 

Self, you don't need to prove anything to anyone other than yourself and you rock today. You can push as hard as you know you can and no matter what the clock says, you are back in the swing of things and doing work. Well done self. 

That self talk was mixed with other salty language cussing myself out about getting it done and not quitting. Let's be honest, we all talk to ourselves and sometimes, it is not nice. In the end I added 7 seconds. Let me put that correctly, in the end, I only added 7 seconds to my mile benchmark after a very interesting 5 months and I am not in pain. You know what? I am pretty proud of myself at this moment. In fact, after the weight floor, I got back on the tread (we had to, this wasn't something I just did because I am crazy even though I am) and worked to get my 2+ miles today because I knew I could. 

This year has not been the worst year ever for me, while it has been hard and sometimes has beat me into submission (also known as me curled up in the fetal position rocking slowly), it has not been the worst. The boys both are college graduates and have jobs lined up in their fields, Bill and I have jobs and stability, my family and friends are healthy. For me, that is not to say this has been a great year, but it has been not been the worst year, let's say it is 7 seconds more than it was when it started in January, and 7 seconds? Well that is damned good considering the insanity the last 5 months.

Yesterday you just smiled at me

A big day - Alex turns 22, the Flyers play SLU, I am starting a fun week in Oregon (it is nice to be able to work from everywhere when you are morning person so time zones aren't scary), and it was 1 mile benchmark day. While not nearly as exciting as Alex turning 22 (did you see the baby pic? oh yes, I did post it on his wall so all his friends could enjoy it too - you should check it out), the thought of a mile benchmark got my heart racing and BP up - just like the thought of labor, all 2 days of it, did 22 year ago.

Let's add to the fun, like I do, and leave the state and comfort of my home OrangeTheory Murphy studio for the benchmark. After much convincing from the incredible Teresa & Stephanie, I swallowed (pushed down in places we push things down to) my fear and went to the studio this morning for my benchmark alone. But wait - what is this? A note waiting for me in West Linn OTF?

In a way only the Barenaked Ladies can, Teresa & Stephanie sent me a note to keep me motivated and on track (literally, let's remember I have fallen off a tread more than once) for my benchmark!!!

I did not cry, there is no evidence I even teared up, and knew I could do my mile. All I had to do was not fall off the tread and match my last time. Well, I did not fall off the tread since July 10th through 6 months of hip issues, 3 months of rehab therapy exercises, 3 weeks of 100% rest time on various beaches, and on 5 hours of sleep after a 4 hour flight, I cut 18 seconds off my mile time. 8:23 is now mine.

I have to tell you, yesterday I posted about how amazing people are, today was further proof. Andrea cheered on our crew at home while not being able to workout herself; Teresa & Stephanie cheered me on from afar; the front desk crew at the West Linn location cheered me on & said to pass the cheers along to our Murphy studio for being so awesome; sometimes people make life hard but really? People ROCK. Thank you to all in my life who make this journey fun. And thank you for reading all of this - now Harrison Ford is getting Frantic, I look like Hot Wasabi when I bust a rhyme, and, let's go folks, Get it together and come back and see me! 💪🤜🤛🧡

Sometimes it is just a little thing...

Life is sometimes about fixing little things that make the other things just feel a little less insane. Work right now it the most insane - let's just leave it at that - and while I know I head to sun and sand tomorrow, that does not negate the insanity I feel.

Today, three little things happened and I found a little center, a little peace in the chaos.

A dear friend sent a recording of her playing a Christmas song on the piano - this leveled my soul as if it was written and played just for me.

I dropped Maggie Princess off at Granny's for her vacation and to pick up turkeys (Granny's Thanksgiving is an event not to miss!) and Granny gave me animal crackers - I felt loved and important because they were for me.

I went and quite literally got adjusted at the chiro (that I avoided seeing for 3 months, I am stubborn and fine) - it leveled my body and brought a center in it's own right.

These three, what seem to be minor things brought me center, brought me peace. What little things have you done that for yourself that center you?

Heading into crazy time - celebrating the little things

Fat Tuesday is almost upon us, in fact, in 1 more Friday I will be touching down in New Orleans where my many beads, tutus and MG family await so that we can ride in our Krewes, dance in the Garden District and pay the proper respect to both Pat O's and Marie Laveau.  Rest assured that I do not forget tiaras, they simply travel with me on the plane so they are not already in the Crescent City (unless I buy a new one again this year, then that one is still waiting for me in the store but I digress).

While Mardi Gras in itself may seem crazy to most, for me it is the time leading up to it and following it that is even more insane.  Between now and then I will be traveling to see family and friends - UD will beat SLU while I am cheering in red at the Arena, I have no doubt AND I get to see the Kiddo doing his thing, always awesome - working and doing other adult things.  Immediately following MG, we have a busy month of out of state weddings, games and a jaunt to CA for a race and some baseball.  Now you see my crazy, however, I don't mind it.  What I hold on to is the calm  - the routine of getting up and working out, feeding the dogs, hanging out with friends, working during the day and spending time with the Big Guy at night.  I find time to celebrate the little things like the fact that the dog didn't catch the rabbit, drinking wine on the porch with my neighbor in rocking chairs, the bed being made when I get home in the morning (and not just because I make it wrong, but because Bill rocks), What's App and SnapChat messages from the kids.  Sometimes it is hard to find the little things because life is overwhelming, I have A LOT to get done before the travel starts next week but sitting here, sipping coffee, looking over work email and writing this blog reminds me that the little things make the big things worth it.

Keeping in the theme of my last blog and my journey - I have a new little thing to celebrate today.  Green.  No, not money, while important, it is not the green I am talking about.  It is the colors of me in the green, and orange while still in my red.  Yes, check-ins at OTF help different charities (while giving them free marketing, something I also support), it also helps me and reminds me that I am not alone in my journey.  I have friends across the US in OTF and when I see them check-in, I feel like, even with the distance, we worked out together (yes Mel & Kim, I am talking to you!).  For someone who traveled and moved most of her life growing up, holding onto the fact that no one is more than a plane ride away and that we are still living life together is important, this has not changed as I have gotten older. Anyway, back to the celebrating my little thing - GREEN AND ORANGE!!!  Yes, I run red on the tread (I see what I did there 😂😂) but I am celebrating the green and the orange! What are you celebrating today?

Pretty Greens and Orange!!!!! 

The sparkle was there and the fox was too...

What did the adventures of the weekend bring? It is hard to even know where to start. It was a weekend of family, fun, memories, laughter and tears. It was watching the seasons change and corn grow. There was a fox, a song, and a glimmer in more than one young girl's eyes. There was dancing - oh my goodness, was there dancing. And did I mention our ever growing family?

Over the years, as our family grew, we also grew literally apart. There are different cities and different states (there were different countries but not for now). My cousins, some of whom I still see as little kids, are grown and getting married, they have children of their own now. Never mind the fact that I have two boys in college. My cousins have grown into amazing men and women, even if we still are all kids inside - we come by it honestly, our parents are still kids too.

This weekend I was back in Bel Air, a small city that I called home for many years even if we didn't live there. Today, I walked down the John Carroll path next to what will always be my Grandma and Grandpa's house in my mind. It will always have green shag carpet in the family room and pink tile upstairs. Yup, it is why I want a shag carpet in my office. Bill was with me as we walked down the path, as I looked into the now fenced backyard and the memories came flooding back; I swear I heard my Uncle Gary telling me that I was going to be in trouble for planting a tree in Grandpa's garden. I saw Grandma at the table cleaning oranges, putting away what seemed like 100 dozen Christmas cookies and 365 chicken breasts. I heard Grandpa calling me from his big chair because Fraggle Rock was on HBO. I saw my Mom walking downstairs in rollers and Little Joy coming up the path in her uniform. I heard Uncle Tim & Uncle Scott on the front porch drinking beer and Alex curled up sleeping on the carpet as the family all walked around him. As we crossed into the JC property, I saw Brian teaching Alex to skate on the pond - a pond that now has a No Skating (or doing anything else) sign. I saw my daddy and brother running around. I told Bill about the cat tails that we used to pick and blow apart, and the nuns that would be walking around campus. I looked back at 508 and I shed a tear or two because of the fond memories, I laughed while they flowed remembering the amazing times that I hadn't thought about in so many years.

The walk down memory lane wasn't what the weekend was about though, the weekend was about my cousin Brian - who is still a kid in my mind - marrying the beautiful Jessica. The family came together at St. Mary's to celebrate their marriage before God, and then to party with them. I got to meet, and spend time with my cousin's kiddos - 4 daughters and 1 son between 2 of them! They - the little girls of course - played with my purse, as I am sure I did with my aunts' purses years ago. I introduced one of them to glitter lip gloss - I am sure her mom will thank me later - okay, maybe not thank but I am the oldest so I get to have some fun. They all learned that when Great Aunt Maria and Erin ask them to dance, the only answer is yes. The girl's eyes sparkled so much as they twirled around the dance floor I could see my Grandmother in them laughing. I taught one of them a line dance, I cannot wait to teach them all so many more. The lone boy talked basketball as I tried to convince him to go see Alex at Dayton; poor kid, only boy in a girl dominated family right now - he gets a medal for the weekend. Mom lifted the girls up on an old tractor and it became a chariot, Daddy took them to meet the horses and they became their friends. The cousins, myself included, all laughed as we remembered how my Mom, their Aunt Maria, used to do the same with us. Jessica, my newest cousin, looked like a princess and took our breath away as she twirled around the dance floor, and when her dad sang to her? Forget it, not a dry eye in the room. We knew Brian found his match, he lit up as she entered his sight - she is now our cousin and will never get away without sparkling and dancing. And while most of us had not seen each other in far too long, it was like we had never left. I even got my cousin Joey to dance - maybe I do have a lot of Mom in me. Oh, and the fox. As we walked down the hill to the barn I saw a red fox run across the field and knew that Big Joy was standing next to Grandma in heaven smiling down at all of us so proud that we were together as a family once again. No doubt Unkie and Grandpa were there looking down saying 'Those damned kids' and smiling too.

The rest of the weekend was spending time with family, in small groups over crab and large ones at the pub with crab. The cousins listened to old stories and we talked about getting together to make new ones. Lots of drinks were drank and plans were made then changed so we could all have one last breakfast together before heading our separate ways. Did I mention eating crab? Crab dip, crab cakes, crab pretzels and let's not forget Bill's first steamed crab experience. I may have gotten enough to last me a month, okay a week. Okay, a few days. I better get more Old Bay.

I hadn't blogged in a while, no reason why as life brings new reasons to everyday, I just hadn't. After this family weekend I was ready to write again. The love, new and old, the family, new and old (no I am not calling you old Mom), reminded me how very lucky I am to be a Reilly. How very lucky I am that I have a family that picks up where it left off, no matter how long it has been. How very lucky I am to have words to capture all the joy that started many years ago at a house we called home on Linwood Avenue.

Oh and I did I mention we all got to celebrate Mom's birthday together? No? Well that's because I forgot that too. Daughter of the year award, but I think she might forgive me as I willingly let her hold the newest cousin. Okay, maybe I tried to run away with the angel in my arms and Mom caught me but it's my story so whatever.

Here's to the Reilly family - whether by blood or by love, whether your name is Reilly or not - once you join our clan, there is no getting out and we are so glad you are here. Now, go fish in the pond and dance to the music because no sign, or lack of power, is going to stop us.

A room with a view

My latest trip takes me quite literally around the world.  After a whirlwind month, I am in Thailand to end my travels.  Thailand, a country of mystery, and specifically Bangkok, a beautiful city where the hotel staff tells me not to walk half a mile myself to a park just in case.

After a day of working in my room and the rooftop garden on a low roof of the hotel, as well as meeting coworkers for a break, I find myself in my room looking out the window.  Who cares?  Well, I do.  As I stare out I notice others doing the same.  Can we see each other?  Of course.  Do we actually notice each other? Well, I do.  I see people staring out the window on the phone, someone dancing to what I can only imagine is a happy dance due to a great day, someone with a glass of wine lost in thought.  As I sit with my glass of champagne, the Villanova versus Georgetown game on the TV and my laptop on the table I can't help but think that this day brings so many different things for different people.

Some people are here for fun, to enjoy the beautiful temples and parks.  Others are here for work and might never make it out of the hotel for anything other than a late night drink or dinner.  I am more towards the latter but that doesn't make me appreciate the city any less.

I know how lucky I am, despite the long travels in coach, the working time zones for both sides of the world, the jet lag, everything else business travel brings to the table.  I am lucky to be someone that is in the window with a glass of champagne, the Villanova versus Georgetown game on the TV and my laptop on the table.  I only hope that the people I see in their windows see me and imagine their own stories that bring them a smile as I am certainly smiling for them.

They inspire me

Today has been one of those days.  People are being horrible to one another, without full knowledge, without understanding, without tolerance.  Glass houses are being shattered without thought, without care about emotions, without facts.

This all scares me.  Worse, this makes me sad.

I am a passionate person, so things effect me more than they should and I acknowledge that.  I lean towards the dramatic, it is what it is.  I could apologize for it, but I can't change it as that would be changing who I am!

Today I was sad, I was worried, I was drained actually, then I went outside to get my mail.  That is when God reminded me how great our country is.  In my cul-de-sac the kids were playing life sized PacMan.  The girls and boys played together; the preteens and the elementary school kids; the Christians and the Muslims.  When they noticed me, one of the girls ran over and sat with me and the dogs and talked about her day, talked about how excited she was as her brother had a concert at school.  Her eyes were sparkling, she was so excited to support her family.  Then the other kids noticed the dogs and gave me a huge group hug before chasing their furry friends around.  It was at that point that the two little girls told me they thought my tree was inspirational.  Why?  Because the tree had to be chopped down quite drastically because half of it had fallen in the yard.  Well now, on top of the cut thick limbs, little green leaves have started to sprout.  The girls said it shows that even the dead looking stuff can regrow and that they would keep growing.  Then back to cuddling with the furry friends leaving me with a warm heart and a smile.

Y'all - remember when we were kids and played life sized PacMan with our friends no matter what they believed?  Remember when it was as easy as running around and putting cards in the spokes of our bike wheels or chasing the neighborhood dogs?  Get back to that, and get back to remembering that sometimes a tree can inspire you to keep growing.  Give the little kids a chance to inspire you, their innocence shows wisdom beyond their years.

A surprise touch might just be what is needed...

It is no secret, at least to my family, that I don't like to be touched.  Apparently, at some point when I was a perfectly behaved toddler (hahahaha that's for you Mom), I decided I didn't like being touched, loved on, hugged for longs periods of time, you name it.  Touching was out.  However, there are times that even me, supreme bubble girl, needs a kind touch, a hand to hold, a hug.

What I didn't know was that a surprise touch could calm even a person like me for a day.

I go to yoga, it is my strength training and helps me breathe. Yoga is hard.  Breathing is as important for some of us, if not all of us, in distance sports and with asthma, well let's just say I need help and leave it at that.  At the end of yoga, there is the most amazing part of the practice, chavasana.  This is where you are done with your hour long practice and you lay at peace on your back, connecting with the earth, with each other, and being grateful for your ability to share in the practice with others.  At Reef Point Yoga the wonderful yogis place a cool lemongrass towel over your head which, for me at least, helps me to forget all the worries and to dos for the day and just be in the moment.  What does this have to do with my touching issue?  I am getting to it right now so just be patient.

This week, Kathi, who I have know since the boys were little as she was their assistant principal, came around and not only put the blessed lemongrass towel over my forehead and eyes, but she then rubbed my upper arms and shoulders with this amazing gel.  I am sure it has natural relaxation powers and that is why it didn't bother me one bit to have someone rubbing my upper arms and shoulders while I was laying still with closed eyes.  In fact, between the lemongrass towel and the eucalyptus smell of the gel I was reminded of a hot bath (which I am huge fan of) and the fabulous lemongrass and eucalyptus soaps I use to take me to my happy place.

All this rambling to say, we all have something that makes us uncomfortable - mine is being touched - yet if we just let it happen once in a while, we might just be surprised.  We might just find a new happy place.  I did, and not just because yoga was done for the day.  Yoga is hard.

Life in a small town - and the live stock that think we are crazy

I often say that I live out in the country, and compared to the 'city' I use to live in, I do.  However, compared to real country living, I do not.  Regardless, I treasure our 'small town' country days.

Today my lungs decided a simple 5k should become a battle of wits, the lungs won.  Now all of you grousing need to relax, I know and agree that a 5k is not simple but this was not timed and I got to run it in step with Nikki and in the crowd with other friends, so that makes it simpler as we always have fun and kick 5k butt. That is not the point so breathe which I couldn't so it's kind of ironic for me to tell you too.  It was in the town next to us, a city in this case but still a quiet suburb city with great trees and rolling Texas hills.  Which also are sneaky and mean.

Downtown Wylie...

Murphy City Hall

After the longest and worst 3.1 miles ever, the Big Guy and I decided to have breakfast in downtown Wylie, the very picture of a small town downtown you can find in any movie about Texas.  The flags were flying up and down the streets, the kids were running around, the antique stores were open,  and we, along with everyone else, were waiting for a table at Ballard Street Cafe.  As we ate, I was reminded how much I like the cafe.  There are football jerseys on the wall, old photos of townsfolk, and a chalk board announcing the fresh made pies for the day.  The dry erase board proud bragged about the Daily Breakfast Special (I always get it as I am a sucker for corned beef hash and sunny side up eggs - well, the yolk anyway), a special that has not changed in all the years we have been eating there.  That regularity, the old time decor, the AMHO football jerseys, all of it are comforting.  The chandelier that hangs in the middle to the room?  Well, that is just like Bill and I, a little country and a little sparkly city touch too. I will let y'all decide which is which.

I could live here...

After the ever so healthy breakfast, we hit a Vintage Market at South Fork. Yes, that South Fork.  Walking in between the various vendor tents with a glass of wine in one of our hands, beer (Coors Light of course) in the other, was peaceful in its own right but it wasn't the best part.  The best part was talking to the animals in the shadow of the house.  Now this is Texas so really it was the burning sun but you get the idea.  The longhorns, horses, mini-horses, llamas, I stopped to talk to all of them, heck I sang with the llamas.  We walked in between the barns with stalls, I for one thankful that there was a big door and gate separating me from the longhorns - they are really big in person.  While driving out, we moved out of the way for the people on horseback, they always have the right of way.  I might not be a Texan by birth, and am considered more Yankee than most by my wonderful boys, but this part of Texas and the country?  I love it.  I still want a horse...not sure why there never is one under the Christmas tree for me.

One of us ran a 5k for fun...

...one of us thinks running that far is stupid.

Of course now it is time for the Cowboys game so we are back in the 'Country House' with sleeping dogs (and a sleeping Big Guy too) in time for me to make up taco nachos.  What is the point of all this?  Well it's really quite simple.  Today could have been hot, and miserable, disappointing but instead I embraced the joy of being with my friends - and yes, I recovered my breathing, very important wedding to sing for next week so I cannot die - embraced walking around in the pasture looking at beautiful antiques and wooden signs (I need to learn how to use a saw as I know I can make a Texas sign), holding hands with the love of my life talking and singing with animals as he rolls his eyes and dares me to jump the fence, moving out of the way for the horse riders.  Already today has proven to be another great day to be alive, even in the country.

Who needs 2 wheels when you have 2 feet

This morning, at the very early hour of 5 am, we sent Alex off to spend a week studying government first hand in Washington DC with 35 other Jesuit men.  Dressed in his collar shirt (you always travel in a collared shirt as a man in our family - it's a lesson we start teaching as soon as they fly which, in his case, was before he could walk), he hugged us and said he will see us in a week.

Like every teenage boy traveler, Alex had a bag with his clothes and belongings across his chest ready to get on the plane and sleep.  He blended in with the Jesuit crowd just as he wanted and it made my heart happy as 2 months ago, we almost had to tell him he couldn't go.

When we told him he had to cancel the trip to Alaska for service, he was disappointed so we held off on canceling the DC trip just in case.  The school, and his teachers, were amazing saying we could wait until 3 weeks before the trip and he could bring whatever he needed to make it easier.  He worked hard in PT and it worked as he got to still go to DC with a wheelchair just in case.  Side note, if you have never been to DC, the Metro is amazing but you still walk around a lot thus the wheelchair just in case.  He talked to his roommate who was good with helping him out if he needed too, I vaguely heard of some negotiation where Alex would ride in the chair sometimes and his roommate others but of course, boys would never do that (HA!  Yes, they totally would.).  Today Alex went on his trip with only his brace, Alex doesn't worry about needing a wheelchair because he did the work and is reaping the rewards.

In his bag are a week's worth of clothes, chargers, an eStim and PF boot.  He got a note from his PT so that he could go to the weight room and use the treadmill for his rehab on days they are sessions in the hotel and not walking around.  He talked to his teacher, who happens to be the CC coach, joking about getting up at 4 am to do 6 miles with him as they waited to go through TSA.  I know adults (okay, maybe I am one of them) that aren't even half as dedicated to rehab as this kid.  Yes, I know I am biased and overly proud but I can't help but think his dedication might someday inspire others.  Maybe he will be a coach or teacher one day and tell the story of what he went through to a player of his and motivate them to get through their rehab.  Maybe a friend will share the story or one of his teachers or coaches to help lend someone else that bit of hope and drive to push just on step more.  Maybe none of that will happen but he certainly has motivated and inspired me time after time over these past 2 months.

2 months ago we weren't sure Alex would ever have control of his right leg and walk ever again.  Today, he got on an airplane bound for DC with his Jesuit brothers to meet up with students from the around the US and walk around our nation's capital and see in person what they have studied in books in their government class.  If that isn't motivational, I don't know what is.

A room with a view, and no doors, and no windows. Okay - an outside office

Back in August of 2012, I used to sit in this same 'corner office' waiting for the kids to be done at Jesuit while I worked and drank my green tea.  Today, almost 3 years later I am doing the same thing.

This is my second 'corner' office of the day as my first one was at BIR while Alex worked with the best PTs DFW has to offer.  Right now, he is across the street taking his Spanish final (even with the work I am doing I am luckier than he is right now) and I am waiting to we can hit Ruthie's for some grilled cheese - the best in the world - before he loads into the bus to head to SHSU to beat Oak Ridge.

It is funny how life can sometimes come full circle in the strangest ways.  If you had asked me if I ever would have been sitting here working waiting to drive my son somewhere from Jesuit after summer school I would have laughed and said no.  Why?  Because 17 year old boys drive themselves and their buddies, they don't ride with their moms.  That is just not how this works.  Since April 20th, I have learned a whole lot of things change and while they seem to be hard at first, they really are kind of great.

This morning, two older gentlemen were talking and saw my Jesuit baseball shirt and asked me 'How are our boys doing?'.  See, they have grads or know grads and have been following our team so we talked for a while.  They told me how proud of our team they are and how our boys have 1000s of people cheering for them from all over.  It made me smile and reminded me how lucky we are to have Alex and Billy as a part of the Jesuit family.

This morning, instead of being in my office (and while I do have a window it is just not the same), I got to sit in the sun and listen to the birds, the cars, the occasional airplane and the voices of the boys on the various fields across the street.  I feel refreshed and alive.

This morning I got to see some of Alex's coaches and see him almost run up the stairs into school.  Yes, that running was not what most would call running but in our normal?  It was the fastest he has ever been.  I still am in awe when I watch how far he has come.

This morning I got to have all of those awesome feelings because I had to drive Alex around because of our circumstances.

Today Alex is fatigued from PT - it was a very hard work out - but he took his 30 minute break in the car and then dug deep and headed in to fatigue his mind with finals.  He packed his baseball bag with all the things that bring his team luck and his pillow as he knew this road trip would require rest.

Today I am fatigued because of the drives, the crazy schedules, the circumstances of life but I too dug deep and headed into the day.  I packed my bag with cow bells, rally towels and glasses for our long road trip.  How could I not if he can do it, I surely can too!

Suitcases open doors, since April 20th we have had many suitcases, bags & boxes and today?  Today I get to work outside without a door because of it.  For that, I am grateful and for the fact that I have a kid that doesn't know how to quit?  I am blessed.

It's a wonderful life - not just a movie title y'all

There is a lot of crazy things going on in the world, of course this is nothing new.

I have a wonderful life - a great family, amazing friends, a job that I like going to everyday and a warm home to come home to at night.  I have two kids that I am over the moon proud of and a man who loves me for me (and y'all know that can't always be easy!!!).  Why do I say all of this?  Well, not to brag my friends.  There are days I don't want to get out of bed, there are days work is the last place I want to be. Heck, there are times that I don't want to home and everyone knows family and friends (I include myself in that group thank you very much) aren't easy to deal with either.

What's the point?

We are ALIVE.  This is a huge deal people.  We are breathing, even if our lungs hurt the air is coming in.  We are able to get that hug if we need it (yes, even non-touchers like me need them sometimes), or yell at that person or project out of anger or frustration (ha - okay, I speak loudly all the time but I mean yell).  We are able to cry when life is overwhelming or laugh with unabashed joy in our hearts.  Let me say again - WE ARE ALIVE.

I make a choice everyday to get out of bed and carry on with life.  Good days and bad, happy and sad.  I make that choice and I want each of you to make it too.  Live those amazing days to the fullest and live the hard ones too.  You are a friend, a son, a daughter, a mother, a father, a brother, a sister.  You are a human and you are alive and we want you here.

Please don't take any of this as preaching, I am not arrogant enough to presume I can tell anyone anything about how to live a good life - I am lucky and love life.  I just observe and feel like the human race, really - those I love - sometimes need a reminder to carry on.  And because I do have a soundtrack for life (of course I do and yes, I dance to it too) - there is a song for that:)

Update - I just noticed that my last entry in July (need to write more - goodness knows my journal agrees) was about the same theme...things that make you go hmmm my friends as I write about what I observe...

Rain will make the flowers grow

And rain will make the flowers grow...

Life has thrown many curve balls lately, not for me directly necessarily, but to those around me who I know and love.  This morning, I awoke to Trouble Dog letting me know that it was storming and all I could think was the song A Little Fall of Rain.  Yes, I typically turn to songs during life - it is just part of who I am (a little dramatic?  Check!)  and this morning, that song is resonating with me. And right now?  We need the rain to bring the flowers.

Life isn't easy to get through my friends, it isn't supposed to be, but I believe that we will get through it even in those darkest times when we don't think we will.  I don't know how, and I don't know when or why but I know we will and we can only do that together.

We all have different opinions & beliefs; we are all different and that is what makes each of us so special.  That is why we all need each other whether we admit it or not.  I pray for all of you - I pray that you find peace, joy, happiness, sorrow, love.  I pray that you laugh when you need to laugh and cry when you need to cry.  I pray that rain brings us all flowers - because a little drop of rain can hardly hurt us now.  We are all going through this life together, we're here, and that's all I need to know.

(Note: I posted this whole entry on FaceBook as it seems to be a mini-blog site now and needed to share it but wanted to include the YouTube here...)

How do we - how do I - handle curve balls?

Today Spring rewarded our fair little city with freezing temperatures.  Yes, I know, some of you got snow. I live in Texas, if we got snow in April there might be mutiny and the city might shut down for a week just because they are angry.  Freezing temps in April after a 70 degree day; it got me thinking about curve balls and how this is Mother Nature's curve ball.  A silly little one that is easy to hit out of the park with a polar fleece and cute scarf.

I moved most of my childhood life.  For most of it, I was too young to realize that everyone didn't move as much as we did.  I remember moving from KY and being very sad; I remember being sad and angry every move after that.  I have blogged how mom would sing Run for the Roses.  I remember thinking that 'maybe this time we are staying put - we aren't going to move.' until my parents would tell us were moving to next state.  Tears would ensue, and not just from me as I remember crying with mom more than once - a moving curve ball.  One I hit with a song, new friends and a new address.

It is April 15th, and a year ago we mourned a terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon.  If you have read this blog at all, you know that I am a runner, a late blooming runner who usually enjoys the scenery than the speed, but a runner nonetheless.  I was watching the Boston Marathon last year and cheering for the victors.  Then, a short time later I got a text from my mom that someone had bombed the Boston Marathon.  I knew people (via Facebook so no, I have never shook their hand or hugged them but I still consider them a part of the running team) running the marathon.  I knew people who had families up there cheering and all we knew was something had happened and people where hurt.  I blogged about it two separate times (here and here). A curve ball - a much more serious curve ball than freezing temps or moving to be sure, but a curve ball for all of us.  A hard, fast curve ball.  Monday we will hit that curve out of the park with the 2014 Boston Marathon and between now and then, many of us will be running in honor of last year's event.  Nothing will stop us.

All of those are examples, albeit ranging in severity, of curve balls that aren't the most positive of experiences but we hit them.  I hit them - begrudgingly and after striking out first perhaps - but I hit them. (Yes, I know the cold & moving are NOTHING compared to Boston and I am not trying to compare them but it was a curve ball for all of us.)

What about good curves?  Sweet spot curve balls?  Well heck, I have plenty of those, they are home runs.

• New job with new responsibilities that open doors and allow me to meet new friends (from their spouse no less)
• New schools that led to life long friends (I sense a trend...)
• Going grey at 18 that led me to have fun with various shades of brown (this brunette does have more fun with friends...)
• Unhealthy check-up resulting in boot camps and running leading to amazing new friends (there is that friend trend again...)
• Being single again, resulting in going solo to an auction and meeting the Big Guy (ooo - love)
• The kiddo - greatest home run of my life

Moral of this disconnected blog?  Don't hate the curve ball, find a way to hit it out of the park even if it takes time or tears (or yelling, or punching of a heavy bag) first. Jackie Robinson didn't shy from the curve - step into the box and hit that curve.

Learn from the Men from Others (again) - Be a Champion

Tonight ended the basketball season for the kiddo.  It ended without a victory and before the boys wanted, but, it was a great season nonetheless.  The kiddo works for the Varsity team, and tonight, as they were leaving, one of the players called his name and hugged him thanking him for a great season.  That resulted in hugs by the players, shared tears, and shared admiration all around.  This was the end of a long season where these boys fought back to Burn the Boats and end as Tri-District Champs.  The student section drown out the solemn drone of the game clock as it counted down with a chant that we can be heard at many Jesuit games - WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

Earlier this season, as the kiddo and I drove by Baylor stadium, a song came on that always makes me think of him - more on that in a second.  I made it a point to say Baylor Stadium as he got the opportunity to practice there with the football team after they won their game at the Cotton Bowl, another awesome moment.  The Ranger's season ended in Waco, tears, admiration, hugs, and again to the chant from those students who drove to Waco from Dallas - WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

Back to the song.  Every time I hear this song, I think of the kiddo.  He isn't able to play the sports he wants (according to once coach, he is an athlete in his head) but I have no doubt in my mind that he is going to be in the Hall of Fame.  I don't know which one, and it may not be an official Hall of Fame, but a Hall of Fame nonetheless.  Tonight this song is for all these boys, the players & manager - some may never play basketball on an organized team again, some may never know the joy of a winning season or a comeback like these boys did - and the fans - those Men For Others that once again stood by their fellow men and cheered WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

You can be a champion - Kiddo, you WILL be sitting in the Hall of Fame.  We all can learn from these boys...be a champion my friends and remember WE LOVE OUR TEAM!

Whatever you do - don't forget to lift your feet while throwing salt

Last night ended with the kiddo dancing around the house thanking the 'Sweet Lord Baby Jesus' because school was cancelled for today.  I have mentioned before, we are a boy house and, to that end, you never quite know what situation the day might bring.  It is always entertaining to be sure and last night was no exception.

He then went on to explain the four people who determine how school is cancelled and how the story is that if one of the assistant principals cannot walk over a bridge at his house without slipping, school would be cancelled.  This is one of those stories that no one really knows if it is the truth or not - he went on to explain - but the boys all live by it.  I wonder if any pour water on that bridge...nevermind.

Moving on, it got me thinking, what other things do I do that aren't based in truth yet I believe over the years for one reason or another.

1. I always lift my feet when going over railroad tracks (in a vehicle, I don't actually jump over them when walking or running, that would result in me falling and I need no additional reasons to trip and fall, thanks.  Big Joy told me that it was good luck one year and it stuck, I am sure she laughs at me from heaven every time as I drive over them no less than four times a day)
2. I throw salt over my shoulder when I spill it (much to the chagrin of anyone who has to clean it up after me when I forget I am no where near a sink - thanks Bill)
3. I always touch the outside of the plane with my right hand before getting on it (no idea - but I don't mess with it)
4. I wear my sunglasses on my Hot Chocolate hat when I run even if I don't need them (yup, night time runs too)
5. I ask God to bless everyone and everything in the world before I go to bed each night (don't want to leave anyone or anything out)

I am sure the list continues and it was fun to be thinking about it as I drove in this morning, over the railroad tracks, with my feet lifted up.  What do you do?  Let's have some fun on Friday...list them!

Flying into the future with a blue dog & flying kid

I ended last year as I have the past 2 years - with a race on New Year's Eve and one on New Year's Day with the kiddo.  As I watched him (far, far) in front of me I was moved at the beauty of watching him run alone on the path.  It was peaceful despite the music rushing through my ears and I was moved at how he looked so free, just him and the road.  Amazing.

Of course, there were many pictures after the fact and as I reviewed them, it struck me how much he has grown the past 3 years.  I don't just mean physically, although he could put his head on my shoulder the first year and now I have to put my head on his, I mean mentally as well.  He is a confident kid running at the front of the pack without a second thought.   He is no longer nervous walking into school, onto the basketball court, onto the field.  He knows he belongs and just goes to work - whatever the work happens to be at the time - always looking forward.

Yesterday I was cleaning out my briefcase and found his old Blue's Clues mailbox sticker. He gave me this sticker when he was a little boy and I taped it to my monitor where it stayed until I got a new one last year.  Clearly, I couldn't throw it away as it still remains with me, in my briefcase.   The past came rushing back of him solving whatever mystery Blue had for him that week in his big chair.  Even then, he knew he would solve the problem.

What's the point?  I could have easily gotten stuck in the past with those pictures, with that sticker; it was easier when he was little and I could hug away the problems, the fears, the scary parts.  There past where my little angel thought there was nothing his mommy couldn't do but I don't want to do that, or go back there.  I loved spending time with him as is our tradition, I love that sometimes he still needs a hug (yes, I hug him even if I don't hug - he is an exception to the bubble), I love that he ran out front into an unknown future and does so every day.  I love that one day he has a problem that will 'end the world' and the next day, he goes to work and figures it out.

Moral - I don't do resolutions but I do embrace the present and look towards the future; my kiddo reminds me of that, even if he doesn't realize it.  We sit down in our thinking chair or we put one foot in front of the other and we solve the problem.  The past demands it of us.

I don't run with my phone, or a camera, so I didn't get a picture of him a head of the pack
but thanks to one of my running friends, I will always have this one of the kiddo flying.