Teamwork makes the dream work

I hate when the kiddo feeds me that line, such coach speak and yet, it is big stick week which always gets me thinking.  Teamwork makes the dream work.

Right now, I am in the middle of a very busy year.  This is a great year, and keeps getting better, but it is busy and it is easy to feel overwhelmed and then...teamwork makes the dream work.  If you have read this blog ever (okay, more than for just a post) you know that I like to workout.  That might be an overstatement, I workout because I can and I like the comradery.  During April, I was doing the OTF Marathon Month for ultra miles and, as is my custom, did too many inclines and hurt myself which meant biking.  Then, last week, I started my first Peloton PowerZone challenge which mean biking.  Catch a few themes there?

Yes, I am biking a lot (I have padded shorts, don't worry).  Yes, I am probably working out too much as I have had 4 days of 2 a day workouts over the past week.  Why you may ask?  Well, we have weekend plans and I will NOT let my teams down.  Sometimes, you have to dig deep and stand up for your teams.  

My OTF crew is bad ass.  We are running, walking, riding, whatever we can to get our miles in studio with guidance from true coaches; the competition is only against the person in the mirror but you never know who is being motivated by you.  I can promise you, people would be amazed to know they motivate me - although I tell them as soon as I remember to tell them.  Today was the last day to get our miles and we did it, I even got to run my last set which I hadn't done in 2 weeks (slow and steady but damn it felt good to run again).  We all cheered each other on when we hit goals, even if we hit them weeks ago - we made it through the month together and that was worth cheering.  Why did we do this?  A cool pair of orange socks. We did not let each other down.  We are a team, we made the dream work.

My Ride or Die Trying Peloton group is also badass.  We aren't in a studio, most of us haven't even met, yet we are doing our 3 + 1AR rides a week to get our team points.  As is the case with the OTF crew, we high five (virtually), we cheer each other on through messaging, we are there for each other.  Today ended week 2 for me, of 8 weeks - we have a long way to go but we will not let each other down.  Why are we doing this?  Satisfaction and bragging rights.  We are a team, we make the dream work.

What else has me going?  Event planning is one of my passions. I love hosting people, throwing big or small parties, big or small events that make people feel special.  Then I had to plan my own wedding.  I never thought a small beach wedding would stress me out but here we are.  Let's talk about the wedding crew.  Most people don't know they are in it.  We aren't having a wedding party other than our amazing boys yet I am getting more help and support from people than I ever knew I needed, and I need it.  Some of the support is hands on, some of the support is talking me down (this happens often), some of the support people don't even realize they are giving.  It is support via SoMe posts, jokes sent, texts, snapchats, phone calls (when I answer the phone) that have nothing to do with the big day (112 days to go).  To stay consistent I can ask why are we doing this?  True love and a lifetime together.  This teamwork that is happening?  Well, it is making our dream work - actually it is making my dream come true.

Are you still there?  Big stick week was all about coaches being there for the kid, his community being there for him, his crew being there for him.  Well guess what y'all, my coaches have been there for me without even knowing it, my community has been there for me, my crews are here for me.  They got me through every class, every ride, every oh what the hell moment of the week, every wedding planning moment.  Without even knowing it, my crews, my teams are my big stick - they are making my dreams work.  I only hope I am doing the same for them. 

5 months and 7 seconds - oddly like life

Full disclosure time, as per the usual, this morning, I was doubting all the things (code for myself) and almost canceled my OTF class this morning as it was the one mile benchmark. 5 months after the last blog entry, here I am writing about the mile benchmark again - wow. 

 But Erin, you like endurance runs. 

Yes, self, yes I do. But I am also a very competitive person and having taken the second month of quarantine pretty much off from working out other than a run from time to time, I am really only one month back into workouts and a mile benchmark (1 mile timed) 5 months to the day after the last one was daunting. 

See, 5 months to the day ago I was still working out at least 5 days a week consistently, traveling, working and functioning like a normal human - if there is such thing as a normal human. Today? Well, I am not sure what this has been but normal is not the word. Back to the fear and dread of the 1 mile. I am competitive with myself, and only myself as I think other people are amazing at what they can accomplish even if they don't believe it, and I knew that 5 months ago I rocked a benchmark at a studio in Oregon in no small part because of a letter that was waiting for me with altered song lyrics from Coach Stephanie and Teresa letting me know I wasn't running without my peeps. 

Back to today, I am intentionally trying not to push the speed to much in my tread blocks as not getting hurt is the goal which means I have to accept that, in order to stay healthy, I may sacrifice some speed and that is okay - it is GREAT. Today I was back with our OTF Murphy 6:30am crew, even showed up way early so Teresa and I could be next to each other on Tread 1 & 3 (socially distance tread spacing thank you very much), Khahn rocking tread 5 and Penny rowing us through it. Coach Hannah on the mic with her ornery demure, at .5 miles you are half way through you know you can probably add a little more if you feel like it smirk that makes us all smile and dig a little more. I was singing lyrics to no necessarily (not even close) the music that was playing in my head and had the mandatory in my life towel covering my total time. I stuck to my plan and increased at every hash mark on the 'track' (1/4 of the 1/4 mile) until I hit my stride then stuck it for .25 miles until an increase, then a .1 increase for each of the last hash marks. I did not die, I did not throw up (yes, the thought was there, it is a much mental as physical for me), I pushed my towel off at .2 to go and realized I wasn't going to hit my last time but at that point, there wasn't anything I could do about it and that had been my plan for myself. 

Self, you don't need to prove anything to anyone other than yourself and you rock today. You can push as hard as you know you can and no matter what the clock says, you are back in the swing of things and doing work. Well done self. 

That self talk was mixed with other salty language cussing myself out about getting it done and not quitting. Let's be honest, we all talk to ourselves and sometimes, it is not nice. In the end I added 7 seconds. Let me put that correctly, in the end, I only added 7 seconds to my mile benchmark after a very interesting 5 months and I am not in pain. You know what? I am pretty proud of myself at this moment. In fact, after the weight floor, I got back on the tread (we had to, this wasn't something I just did because I am crazy even though I am) and worked to get my 2+ miles today because I knew I could. 

This year has not been the worst year ever for me, while it has been hard and sometimes has beat me into submission (also known as me curled up in the fetal position rocking slowly), it has not been the worst. The boys both are college graduates and have jobs lined up in their fields, Bill and I have jobs and stability, my family and friends are healthy. For me, that is not to say this has been a great year, but it has been not been the worst year, let's say it is 7 seconds more than it was when it started in January, and 7 seconds? Well that is damned good considering the insanity the last 5 months.

A journey without a suitcase - but it has lots of color so why not?

I started a new journey last month, one that is personal in it's own way.  At 35, I started working out hard core and ran the first of many races.  Since then, I have completed numerous halves, a marathon and enough mud runs with obstacles to be considered a mud loving pig.  I really do miss a good mud run.  I have also gone up in down in fitness and weight, and when the weight goes up, let's be honest - it is harder to get the fitness back.  The word embarrassment comes to mind, but why be embarrassed about who you are?  Well, that is an age old question and I am NOT tackling the world here, only my world.

My new journey includes some pretty hard core fitness at OrangeTheory.  Today was distance day, and while I am a distance girl, even at a much slower pace than I ever was before, distance on a treadmill is a whole different story.  And then we need to add in the very daunting heart rate monitor that posts your effort range on very large TVs in the room.  The intent is to get green, orange and some red.  Now, I run red - shocking I know, drama everywhere - my heart rate runs very fast and it seems that I am dying if you look at the screen and yet, if you look at me on whatever device I am currently using, I could be singing or smiling (unless during all out - then I am full on game face, RBF has NOTHING on my all out face thank you very much).  My amazing coaches have assured me that I am good - and they are trained to know - at my 50 splat points while others work to get to 30.  Today, I still had my 48 splat points yet I somehow also managed 21 minutes in orange and 14 in green.  How?  No idea other than the distance run felt good - like, really good.  What is the point to all this build-up?  It is not an OTF commercial I assure you.

The point is I was scared to get back into working out with others, and I need others to be successful in my workouts just like my life.  Yes, the competition is against yourself - be better than the you of yesterday is not just a cheesy saying - but my old self was kind of badass and the new self?  Well, she is getting there again. This is all in my eyes, and how you see yourself is very important to your personal success. 

We are past the first month of dying new year's resolutions so now is the time - challenge yourself, not to be who you may have been in the past - stop comparing yourself to that person, rather challenge yourself to take on your fears (mine was humiliating myself in front of others while trying to better myself, I know, ridiculous) and get through them.  You might be in the best shape of your life right now, you might be exactly where you want to be, but as a human, there is something you are afraid to take a chance and do, DO IT!  Don't do it for me, or your kids, your loved ones, do it for YOU.  Find your green / orange, don't fear the red - and no, this does not only apply to fitness.  I hadn't written since October of last year...another fear overcome.  If I can do it, I know you can.

Butterflies - someone has them for you

It is no secret that I am the biggest supporter of my boys.  Home, school, sports, work - I will always have their back and brag about them to the point of embarrassment.  That is just the kind of Mom (& Daddy) I had so it is the kind of Mom I am.  I have never felt the need to apologize for it, I have never felt like a helicopter parent due to my pride - in fact, and if you as the boys they will probably agree, I am harder on them than other kids simply because I know they can reach their goals.  They both have all the tools they need to do work and accomplish whatever they set their minds too.  This is one of those proud moments for the kiddo - the one that used to be the short one.

Today I am on one of my random trips.  Some people think I am crazy, I am probably am, but sometimes I think you need to use your miles, get on a plane and go for an adventure.  This adventure took Alex & I back to Dayton - UD specifically - for the biggest game to date for our Flyers.

Today I dropped him off at the back of the Arena, a door I never knew existed in my 4 years here, so he could do work.  My son will never wear a basketball team uniform, will never make the winning free throw (and not just because he misses those - always) in a D1 game, will never be in the player hall of fame, but that kid?  He goes through the back doors to the UD Arena.  He, and his fellow managers, set up the benches, the locker rooms, the uniforms, the water bottles / towels / chairs with smiles on their faces.  If not actually on their faces, they have them inside as they know what a privilege their jobs are. Every time they enter the arena and hit the floor, they have the same butterflies the players do.  They feel every swish, every miss as if they were suited up to play.  They do their own shoot around before the players hit the court.  While I know in reality this is just shooting hoops with buddies, part of me wonders if they do it to make sure there is nothing wrong with the rims, the balls, the shot clocks.  There is nothing these managers won't do for their players, their coaches, their team.

It might not make sense to everyone, and it sounds irrational when you say it out loud to be sure, but tonight, as I am cheering on our Flyers, I will have butterflies for those men behind the bench.  For those who do work because they love it and because they know that it is their job to ensure everything behind the scenes works so their players can go and make the shots and get the win.

Moral?   Decide what you want to do, do the work, go through the secret doors and get it done. Somewhere, your mom, grandmom, dad, grandpa, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or friend (okay, all of the above I am sure) have butterflies for you.  Know you are going to get it done right because whether you are the guys on the bench or behind it, someone has faith in you and knows you can get it done.

Rain will make the flowers grow

And rain will make the flowers grow...

Life has thrown many curve balls lately, not for me directly necessarily, but to those around me who I know and love.  This morning, I awoke to Trouble Dog letting me know that it was storming and all I could think was the song A Little Fall of Rain.  Yes, I typically turn to songs during life - it is just part of who I am (a little dramatic?  Check!)  and this morning, that song is resonating with me. And right now?  We need the rain to bring the flowers.

Life isn't easy to get through my friends, it isn't supposed to be, but I believe that we will get through it even in those darkest times when we don't think we will.  I don't know how, and I don't know when or why but I know we will and we can only do that together.

We all have different opinions & beliefs; we are all different and that is what makes each of us so special.  That is why we all need each other whether we admit it or not.  I pray for all of you - I pray that you find peace, joy, happiness, sorrow, love.  I pray that you laugh when you need to laugh and cry when you need to cry.  I pray that rain brings us all flowers - because a little drop of rain can hardly hurt us now.  We are all going through this life together, we're here, and that's all I need to know.

(Note: I posted this whole entry on FaceBook as it seems to be a mini-blog site now and needed to share it but wanted to include the YouTube here...)

It's okay to be nervous - surround yourself with your team and it will be fine!

I raised an independent kid.  I don't think it was intentional on my part, just the way it worked as my parents raised a very independent kid - it really makes sense.

This morning, he met the Jesuit Varsity basketball team for a road trip to CA.   I chose not to go as he needs to get out on his own with his team and build the bond that will last the season.  And, he needs time to be him - right?  Right.  Now, senior year?  I think I shall go as the coaches put it "A vacation for the parents with a game or two thrown in."  Sounds like fun to me.

As I was standing there this morning, watching all the boys in their uniform warm ups talking to each other, I observed some funny moments...

• Teenage boys pack as much as teenage girls and call clothes 'outfits'.  At least some of them do - to which the adults had a good laugh.  Where do they think they are going?
• They act so much cooler than they are (yup still little boys inside.)  I posted that they asked if people thought they looked intimidating all together as a team in their warm ups and the coach reminded them that no they don't.  But the minute the strangers were gone, and they forgot they weren't just a bunch of cool guys sitting around, they started talking about hornets and how they do not cry.  No, they had sunscreen in their eyes and that was why it appeared they got upset.  They all laughed at this in that way that you know they were all thinking- "Oh hell yes that hurt, we cried!"
• They aren't as secure as they want you to believe.  The thought of sitting by themselves on an airplane? Not something any of them wanted to deal with.
• They want each other to succeed.  "Who has Spanish this year and again next year?"  "Oh dude, you are helping all of us out."  "Alright - it'll happen."
• Nervous chatter.  Also something not reserved just for girls.
• They still want to be touched.  Each one of them stayed close to mom/dad and hugged them as they left.  Kiddo is NOT an affection for Mom in public guy, but he hugged me (and even said he loved me - awwww)

I know I saw more things, and had a great laugh or 6 this morning, but that is what I remember most.  None of which is really a surprise if you have a boy or boys in your house or life.

It is just one of many amazing opportunities the kiddo will have in his life and has had with Jesuit so far (in his short 1.5 years to date) and I couldn't be happier for him.  I can't help but remember the little nervous habits he exhibited this morning that no one but mom might recognize, and I liked seeing them. It was just a reminder that he still my kiddo, in a bigger body & more mature, but deep down, still mine and not as brave he wants the world to think.  These boys all had them I am sure, but didn't want to share that news with the world, after all, they are the coolest in the world.

That got me thinking, no matter how old we get (yes, we get older and mature - sometimes), it is okay to be nervous even if we don't show it to the world.  New experiences make people nervous, and that is okay!  Just be sure to be around people you trust - your team so to speak - and it will be one more day in a great adventure.

Have a GREAT adventure boys - we are so proud of you!

GO RANGERS!

Sometimes, it is just about finishing your race.; even if there isn't an actual race or actual bling at the end...

This past summer has been an interesting one, life has thrown out good times, bad times and everything in between.  I have had moments where I was sure I couldn't get through another step and others where I knew I was going full steam ahead happier than ever.

This past weekend I ran double halves.  No, really.  I intentionally laced up my shoes, glided my body and ran 13.1 miles on Saturday and Sunday morning in 96% and 81% humidity respectively on purpose.  No one has ever called me sane, why should we start now.  I was with an amazing group of women, all of different sizes, paces and passions on this trek who motivate me all in their own way.  I also had an additional amazing group of friends and family I have know forever and friends I only know virtually or met a short time ago cheering me on from afar and supporting me whether they realized it or not.  All about the live and virtual cowbells people.

I once posted an entry about why I run.  I have written about running being a team sport, okay, so I wrote about it twice - I am a writer, it's what I do.   It is a team sport, and if you have ever run with a group, be it 1 mile or 100, you know that.

But I digress, as I often do - I know.  

Too often we set goals for ourselves, realistic or maybe not so much, and when we don't hit them, we feel like a failure.  When we don't crash through barriers, we feel like finishing alive isn't enough and I am here to tell you IT IS ENOUGH.  I didn't set any PRs this weekend, heck, my times were some of my slowest ever but I still ran 13.1 miles, twice.  I still ran through the finish line both days and heard my name "eRun Erin D Reilly has finished."  I still completed 2 half marathons and got the bling.

Saturday I ran into a friend that I met at a New Year's race and helped him through the last 4 miles with wicked calf cramps, didn't think twice about stopping to help him stretch them.  Didn't think about the time that I would be posting as I ran over the finish line with him into the arms of my wonderful man who came to cheer on my victory.  This was my 10th half, it was supposed to be my PR - life had many other plans so it was, and always will be, my 10th half regardless of time.  It was awesome.

Sunday was made of all hills (yes, a town in Texas that has NOTHING BUT UPHILLS) and when my body told me enough, I actually listened and walked up those hills (I still ran down, I am only so reasonable).   I ran with my wonderful friend as long as I could then made the trek myself.  I met a 13 year old girl and her mom who were running together, it was the 13 year old's first half and I had the honor of experiencing it with her and it was motivational. 

Both races I finished with my awe inspiring friend, who I watched run many many years ago and swore I would never run.  She is the one who paced me through my first half and to my yet beaten PR.  She came back both days (finishing way before me) and ran the last half mile or so with me cheering me all along the way.  It is just what she does, and it was great.

I will admit, the end of day two I felt down that I still was slower than I may have wanted to be.  I was wondering if I would ever pick up the pace again and then I watched a video my mom sent us.  I didn't cry, the girls were around, but I was on the inside. No matter what, good days and bad, I am Who I Am and am loved by so many.  I wanted to share it with all of you - YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE and YOU ARE LOVED!!!  I don't care if you walk, run, sit, crawl.  If you feel like you have no friends or a million you are loved.  You are amazing.  

You are a winner in my book, life doesn't always give us actual bling to show us that we are winners, but I would give you each bling if I could for your everyday victories.  Mine was realizing that fast or slow, I succeeded.  What is yours?  Now, wear your bling with pride.