Embrace it - whatever it is for you

I was going to write all about how great my weekend was, I even have the draft ready to go with pictures but after Monday, I didn't post it.  Like many others, I felt so confused, angry, sad, angry (it warrants being repeated) that I wasn't in the mood to be cheery about my great weekend.  Boston affected people in many different ways, I am no different.  Then we woke up this morning to the West disaster and it seemed like the hits just wouldn't stop coming.  I don't know anyone in West but drive through it on my way to Austin to see my family.  Everyone who has made that trek stops at the Czech Stop for kolaches...West is a vital part of the road trip.

This morning I posted the following on Facebook:  

"This week we all came together as a country in support of Boston and each other as we witnessed the tragedy of evil. As we woke this morning, we learned of a different kind of tragedy in West, Texas and again we all are coming together in support of the people of West. The endless capability of the human spirit to give, pray, support and come together is awe inspiring. Please hug your family a little tighter this week; tell your friends - even those you may have not seen in a while - how much you love and value them; take an extra moment to say 'hi', wave or smile at a stranger just because. We are one people despite the difference in our opinions, our beliefs, our heritage. God Bless everyone, my life is even more valuable because you are all in it."

and it hit me, here I am saying take a moment, remind people that you love them and enjoy life and I was not following my own advice.  I was keeping the lessons from my awesome weekend to myself.  I spent time with wonderful friends and family this weekend and I cannot let the terrors of this week steal that from us.

This weekend was jam packed from Friday night until Sunday night.  It was one of those weekends that you have so much going on that you forget about things like groceries or laundry (thanks honey!)...minor details.  However, it was an amazing weekend and if every weekend was like this one?  Well, that would be perfect.

We had rugby & baseball and once again, watching my boys do what they do brought me such peace.  Yes, they are two different kids and they both have different roles in their sport but they are both athletes in their own right.  Watching them embrace what they do?  Best use of my time - we could learn from them.  Go for your dreams and don't worry about the guy trying to slam into you or what people might think as you work on the book and analyze what works and what doesn't.

Saturday night was date night - something parents understand as a luxury that we don't often remember to take advantage of - at the auction.  The man and I met at an auction many years ago, and being a little bit of a cheesy girl, they mean a lot to me.  Even more fun?  I got to wear a fascinator come on (it was a KY Derby theme)...how is that not a perfect night?  

Sunday morning brought what many of my Sunday mornings do...race day!  It was my 8th half marathon and I finally got to run along White Rock Lake.   Even more exciting than spending my Sunday morning with the running girls, my cousin landed right as I was crossing the finish line.  I have many cousins, and since I moved away when I was young (and before most of them were born,) I don't get to see them often.  It was a special treat that she was in town for work so we took advantage of it.  

We started family funday at the horse races, my first trek out to the races here in Dallas and I can't wait to do it again.  Us ladies chose our horses based on names and spunk, the boys?  They had a super secret science to it.  We won't talk about who was more successful...:)

No trip to Dallas would be complete without a walk through Dealey Plaza, so the man gave us a first hand tour of what it was like that fateful day in November.  It is a different story when you have someone who was there telling it.  Even in that place, where tragedy struck so many years ago, we weren't on our guard, we were simply walking around enjoying the weather and each other.

The weekend closed out with a true Texas dinner - red meat.  If you have ever been to a Brazilian steakhouse, you know what I am talking about.  Now, I am not a huge eater but Sunday night?  I ate my weight in meat and didn't worry a bit. 

I loved spending time with my cousin, loved that my boys got to spend time with her and that we all had fun doing it.  I am sure there were stressful points in the weekend, but I don't remember them...I just remember having an amazing time with everyone. Laughing, cheering, loving, eating, drinking (it is what we do - we are Irish/Italian and you have to eat and drink for it to be a family event.)

Last weekend I got to spend precious time with my family and my friends.  I didn't worry about work, laundry, school, life, I just embraced the moment to spend time with those I love.  I need to learn to do that more often, life is too short my friends!  The laundry will be there, work will be there, school will be there, but times like these?  They won't always be around - enjoy them, embrace them, and while you are at it?  Embrace each other a little tighter; sometimes a fast horse, an auction, a plate of meat, a glass of wine, a walk through history is exactly what you need.  Run for your Roses this week...we certainly did this weekend.  And after the tragedies of this week, I think we can all use a little embrace.

Push Through the Wall.

Sometimes life is about standing up and facing what is thrown your way - runners call it the wall and I hit mine around mile 9ish when running a half and again at mile 20 during my full.  

Monday, we united as a country and stood up against evil. Tuesday, runners everywhere Ran for Boston, the fans, the family, the friends, the first responders, the runners - we ran for all of them.  We ran as a community, as a team, as a family.

You think you knocked us down? Try mile 9. You think you scared us? Try the hill at mile 15. You think we won't endure? Trying crossing the finish line in the ice, rain, snow, heat - sweating, crying, bleeding. We will get up. We will push through doubt and fear. We will endure. If our strength feels like it is giving out, then we will use your cowardice to motivate us to push through that wall.  We will finish. We are a team and we stand together.

WE ARE RUNNERS.

We are all a team - and now we all need to pray.

My posts are, normally, uplifting.  They are about appreciating the little things and how the adventures I encounter form my thoughts and days.  Today I have questions.

I was ready to write about my amazing and full weekend.  The wonderful people I had fun with, the family adventures we encountered but now?  Now I am confused.

I am a runner and one thing I have learned is that running is a team sport.  I run with some wonderful ladies and we get each other through our easy and hard runs - easy and hard days.  I am on numerous FB groups where we cheer each other on as if we are old friends, and yet, we have never met.  We are all kindred spirits, we run together.

Today, we were all cheering for our fellow runners in the Boston Marathon - we are their cheerleaders from all over the globe. Some of us even have far fetched dreams of making it some day.  Now we are asking questions.  Now we are praying.

We don't know what has happened, and we don't have answers.  It may be a while before we know anything but one thing I do know - we need to pray.  We need pray for the runners who are done, the runners who are still on the course, the fans, the families and friends cheering from home and can't get updates.

We are all a team - and now we all need to pray.

Today we fight

I had lunch with 3/4 of the CN Mafia (great group of friends aptly named by one of the fiancees); we were sampling food for the reception, it is an important role that we HAD to do.  You know, because none of us have ever eaten at Fuddruckers before...hee hee hee :)

Anyway, while we were sacrificing buffaloes in honor of our hungry tummies, we were talking about life and death.  All of us are of the mindset that when it is time to go, it is time to go.  But we are all fighters.  There is nothing that we wouldn't fight through if we put our minds too it (we are forged in TM mud after all).  

Today, a friend is fighting for the right to live literally.  He is going for surgery for a new heart.  Yes, this is the same person that had a heart 'die' on him months ago while being prepped.  Today, the heart is viable and will be his.  We tough girls all made it clear that once we are gone, we are donating everything that can be used.  EVERYTHING.  If someone gets to live on, live on!  We certainly don't need it anymore.

So today, we fight for him.  We fight for his amazing wife and his two great kids.  We fight for everyone who can't fight for themselves.  Everyone is unique, has different opinions on right and wrong, politics, religion, you name it, but everyone deserves the right to fight.

Angels watch him as he fights today, and let him know that we are fighting for him too.

Because I can

On March 3rd, I ran my first marathon.  This was a huge deal for me for so many reasons.  26.2 down.  I can say the words "I am a marathoner" and be proud of it.  I had an amazing group of friends come and cheer for me in Arkansas - yup, they drove the 5 hours to Arkansas - through the whole thing.  At one point, they actually fed me, FED ME, and I let them.  I asked for hugs at the end, the non-toucher needing hugs and help walking, but that is neither here nor there.  I had more family and friends cheering for me from a far - they were with me the whole time too whether they realized it or not.

That whole amazing experience, where I started as a girl who started running a year and a half ago, made me realize just how much a person is capable of doing.  I did start and end as a different person and would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of doing another one, pain, tears, scars and all.  I am a marathoner, and that is not the most amazing thing that happened to me that weekend.

On March 2nd, I walked in the Walk MS event in Dallas for the third straight year.  Lauren and I walked with our families for a cure.  It was awesome to see the amount of people out there walking, riding, running, scooting, whatever it took to show the dedication we have to find a cure for MS.  I don't know how many more years we will be walking it together (there is talk of a tent with a hostess next year) but I know I will be walking it as long as these two legs will carry me, just like I will be running in races as long as the same two legs will carry me.  Why?  Because I can.

I got countless emails and texts the week after asking me how I felt and my most honest answer was that I felt blessed.  Yes, I was sore as hell and I could never imagine running a 5k, let alone a marathon, ever again, but more than that? I felt lucky.

Somewhere between my wipe out after mile 8 and the hill from hell at mile 24 I realized something.  I was doing what so many people cannot.  The day before, I was celebrating and walking in honor of so many people who would LOVE to be able to run even a mile, let alone 26.2.  Sunday, I was realizing a dream I had put my mind too. My legs, muscles, feet, lungs, heart - sure, they may have been screaming and cramping in ways I didn't know was possible - were carrying me the whole way.

I wrote this many weeks ago and never posted it, I still don't think it provides the full message, or emotion, of what I feel about that weekend but it was time to hit 'Publish'.  People still ask me why I did it.  People think I have lost my mind as it is bad for my knees, or hips, or doesn't need to happen as no one is chasing me, or takes too much time, or or or.  The real answer is I did it because I can and so many others cannot.  And it isn't because they don't want to, or they just don't care to put in the training or try, they physically cannot do it.

I am a marathoner because I ran 26.2 miles and I did it because I can.