For the good of all...

Let me start by saying that this may (translation - will most definitely) come across as dramatic but as the blog owner, sometimes I get to be dramatic.  We all have our days.  Enough about that.


Today I got my first MRI at lovely Envision Imaging of Allen which is where I became a regular not a year ago for my then broken foot.  This time it was as a result of the strained ligaments in my knee not healing quite as fast as my doctor would like.  I love my doctor, she didn't chide me for waiting to come see her and admitted she would have done the same thing (we had a double to run people!).  But this is not about that, this entry is about my need to be KNOCKED OUT.


Why do I feel the need to be knocked out you ask?  That's easy - because an MRI is a metal tube of death.  A loud, tight, scary - albeit very well lit - metal tube of death (MToD for short).  I am not a claustrophobic person, at least normally, and did not have to be all the way in the MToD, in fact, my head was not in the MToD.  This does not change the fact that every slightest shift of the sliding 'bed' of fear towards the MToD sent cold shivers down my back and my hands started to sweat.  I knew I wasn't going all the way in, I was still in street clothes with zippers and hooks, but that did not stop the irrational fear of enclosure.  The music coming through the headphones that had me singing in my head?  Nope, not a soother either.


I clearly survived and have all my body parts unsmooshed (it's a word).  Should there be a next time, this is the only warning I can give: I will fight harder than a honey badger and spider monkey combined to not have it happen AND for the good of all - please knock me out.  I promise, I will buy a round when I awake.

MToD - and sliding bed of fear.

***Update!  I have heard back and have what is called Iliotibial Band Syndrome and have PT starting Friday. I will get to run again!  Only this time, I will know when to take it easy (I will - sometimes) and leave the MToD for others.***

We did it...

In 2011 I became a workout person.  I like to go to boot camp at 5:30am outside in a parking lot or parking garage (only if it is really raining or really cold of course).  The people I met that have kept me motivated make it that much more fun.  We work through the pain, the gain, the good times and bad and still show up for more. In August I started running - training for my first half marathon.  I completed that first one with one of my best friends in the rain and cold.  We were wet from the first step to the last but we did it and did it well.

The next half was the first leg of the New Years Double.  We had decided to do a 1/2 on the 31st and 5k on the 1st as we were pretty sure that pain would play a major role.  I had no idea how much of course.  Two weeks prior to the NYD, I did a hilly training run with my crew.  Nothing new for any of us and I felt great afterwards.  It wasn't until later when I was at the movies and couldn't get my knee to straighten without more pain than I ever felt that I realized something was wrong.

Now, a smart adult would take this as a sign to rest up and I did, I only did one more 4 mile run before the half.  I never said I was a smart adult.  I made it through the half - slower than my first one but yet still made it with minimal walking and got ice right after the race.  Immediately actually, it was comical how quickly I voluntarily got a huge bag of ice for my knee while standing outside during a sunny 45 degree day.

The next day, under penalty of bodily injury (I do love our running crew, we take better care of each other than we do ourselves and wouldn't make it a step without the support) I walked the 5k.  This was painful and I don't just mean literally.  Having started where I did in January (more than 20 pounds heavier and WAY out of shape and not just because I was coming off of a fractured foot) to running 1/2 marathons and working out 6 days a week and then having to walk 3 miles - I 'ran' the first 1/4 mile as well as I could and that was not smart but nothing was going to stop me - was not where I wanted to be.  I was there with the kiddo who once told me he hated running more than anything in the world and yet he was voluntarily running two 5ks and still at the finish line cheering for us.

I was having a big time internal pity party as I walked with a smile on my face until this one woman walked up next to me and said 'Hey, we might be walking but we are out here doing it and that is better than being on our couch!'.  You know what?  She was right.  We were out there walking in the beautiful weather because that is what we could do.   I walked for a while with another guy who was about to go in for knee surgery.  He ran the half the day before too and was paying the same price I was but we were out there walking with smiles and enjoying every minute of it.

Moral?  Yes, it stinks to train and not make a goal I set but this is a new year and I still have plenty of trails and asphalt to kick ahead of me!  So here we go 2012 - recover and take on the year.  You may be 'walking' through whatever it is you are doing right now, but at least you are taking steps and you will 'run' through it before you know it.    One foot in front of the other.

PS:  I am already thinking that the 2012/2013 New Year Double needs to be a 1/2 / 1/2 for me...how's that for a goal? (Yup, I have lost my mind)

It's a Theory - AH HA

Yesterday's ah ha moment was at the end of a 6 mile training run, I realized still had fuel in the tank to sprint the last 1/4 mile...and realized that I would have had it for a 1/2 mile if my awesome running friend (you know who you are) had kicked sooner - even if I was cussing your name when I realized what you were doing at the time.  This ah ha moment was an awesome one.  One that showed me all the training my BAM-mates have been doing together and apart is working and that we are all champions in our own right.

Today however, I think I am getting old....this morning I woke up at my traditional 5am and realized that 5 hours of sleep just isn't going to cut it anymore.  I am sure I have had other 'ah ha - you are getting old and need more than 5 hours of sleep' moments but this one bugged me.  Well, it didn't bug me enough to get out of bed and go workout with the crew at 5:30am, but it bugged me.

Or maybe it was the weather.  Or the cold that I can't seem to get over.  But I refuse to believe that a cold will hold me down so exhaustion it is.  Tonight, bed before midnight.  In theory.  I love a good theory.

I look forward to another ah ha moment today as they are not rare, you just have to be aware of you and your moments.  Another theory, and I love a good theory. :)

Have you had an 'ah ha moment' lately?

It's a list - add to it.

Ever have a week that just never seems to end?  Of course you have, and if you say you haven't, you are lying to us and yourself so stop it.   Anyway, it is only Tuesday and it has already seemed like a long week.  No particular reason so I thought I would make a list of reasons why weeks seem long and see what y'all think...in other words, step up and add your thoughts.  It's interactive Tuesday.  My thought being that some of the time stoppage might be thwarted by a fun interactive game if you will.  Yes, I have odd thoughts but if you are reading this blog you already know that.

1.  Lack of sleep  (yup, seems like the age old working parent excuse but I am sleepy.  Of course a friend pointed out that we also get up at 5 every morning to work out or run so really, we have no one to blame.)
2.  Too much work(it's a good problem to have)
3.  Too little work (not sure I remember what this problem looks like)
4.  Big crazy weekend planned (for example, this weekend is the tennis tourney, ZBB concert in honor of said friend's birthday week, high school open house...the kiddo is growing up and this is not slowing down like the week)
5.  Stuff you don't want to do looming (you know, house work, work work, yada yada yada)
6.  Weather (right now, the sky is grey and we are supposed to get wonderful rain which we have not yet seen.  Even my boss said this was a day that we should be working at home from our couches, with the fireplace lit and a movie on.  Yes, I am ignoring the fact that it is supposedly 70 degrees outside because I am cold)
7.  Too much other stuff to do (which oddly this week is not the case in our house.  Rest assured, I am sure we will fill it)
8.  This is where you start adding your wise thoughts - you know, interact.  It is called social media after all...

And for all you people out there keeping track (humor me please), we saw a ton of bunnies on the trail this morning and one squirrelabunny.  Yes it is a thing, and yes I saw it.  I will name it Thursday I am sure.

Back to interacting...

Silly Bunny

This morning a bunny rabbit almost threw itself under my car.  Why would you do that silly fur ball?  Yes, I swerve for animals; I cried when I hit a squirrel (I was sad for it's squirrel loved ones that will miss it) and I name the adorable animals I see on my runs everyday, but none of this is the point.  What is the point?

Well, this suicidal bunny got me thinking.  How many times in our life do we 'throw ourselves in front of a car'?  I don't mean literally of course, if you are literally throwing yourself in front of a car please get help as there is something not quite right with you.

As adults, it is presumed that we know right from wrong, that while we are in a situation we know what is going on and that we know what we SHOULD do.  How often do we embrace our inner child in the wrong way and  do what we shouldn't just to prove we still can come out 'alive'?  I will even go so far as to say that half the time I don't think we even realize we are doing it, it's just that inner child.

Oh - and if you know me at all you know I love my inner child.  She is what keeps me going on those rough days, long runs, thunderstorms, whatever.  Embrace the inner child, just not the inner devil child - at least not in traffic.

Time flies

And it's not just because I noticed I haven't blogged in a month, time really does fly.

This morning the kiddo and I went to his first official high school Open House.  The school we visited is smaller, and all boys.  It sits on a beautiful campus of wilderness (yet in a city) and the 3 academic buildings are nestled around a quad of gardens and pathways.  It was all breathtaking, and that was before we even went into a classroom.

As this is an all boys establishment (one of two that the boy is looking at),it was refreshing to see the teachers let the boys be, well, boys.  As the chemistry professor put it "We can let them be boys, or we can try to stop them which just means they will be boys, only behind our back and won't behave when we need them too!"  The boys supported each other, helping each other out and prodding when need be.

What's the point?  Kids grow up so much faster now than I ever did - the pressures of the world, constant communication, internet...you name it.  Today we started with mass in the chapel and a cell phone rang (I pity that boy!) and that was the last of the invasions until I got back in my car.   When one of the older students was asked what they thought of the fact that these students don't use laptops in class they said that it doesn't bother them.  They still use pens and paper, they still have to know how to spell without the red lines directing what to fix.

When's the last time you used pen and paper, then put it down to go in the courtyard and throw a frisbee?   Watched it fly like time before it reaches its destination...

It's Mom's Day!!!

Growing up, we all say - 'Please don't let me grow up to be like my Mother!' and slowly, but surely, we have kids and we do.

Well today is my Mom's birthday and I am proud to say, I have grown up to be just like my Mother and I thank God everyday for letting me be her daughter and for the things she has taught me.

Happy Birthday Mom - I love you!

(And yes, today I would pop my bubble & give you a big hug:)