Rain will make the flowers grow

And rain will make the flowers grow...

Life has thrown many curve balls lately, not for me directly necessarily, but to those around me who I know and love.  This morning, I awoke to Trouble Dog letting me know that it was storming and all I could think was the song A Little Fall of Rain.  Yes, I typically turn to songs during life - it is just part of who I am (a little dramatic?  Check!)  and this morning, that song is resonating with me. And right now?  We need the rain to bring the flowers.

Life isn't easy to get through my friends, it isn't supposed to be, but I believe that we will get through it even in those darkest times when we don't think we will.  I don't know how, and I don't know when or why but I know we will and we can only do that together.

We all have different opinions & beliefs; we are all different and that is what makes each of us so special.  That is why we all need each other whether we admit it or not.  I pray for all of you - I pray that you find peace, joy, happiness, sorrow, love.  I pray that you laugh when you need to laugh and cry when you need to cry.  I pray that rain brings us all flowers - because a little drop of rain can hardly hurt us now.  We are all going through this life together, we're here, and that's all I need to know.

(Note: I posted this whole entry on FaceBook as it seems to be a mini-blog site now and needed to share it but wanted to include the YouTube here...)

Admit it - we are pack animals

This weekend was one of those - It doesn't get much better than this - kind of weekends with one exception, half our family was in Colorado but they were having great fun too so it's all good.

What made it so great?  People of course.  There are plenty of times that I think 'Life would be easier without having to deal with people' but that is wrong.  Yes, there are times that humans are frustrating but we need them.  We need friends and family - everyone remembers that in times of strife, but what about just the fun times?  The fun times need people too!!

A movie date with the Kiddo (so much fun), a virtual race to stand strong with fellow runners in honor of the Boston Marathon, baseball games (let's not talk about the score, that was not fun), and family and friends celebrating Easter (He has Risen!) - it was all more fun because of the friends and family.  Old traditions were kept (you are never too old for an Easter egg hunt) and new traditions where made.

While sitting around a very long table for Easter dinner watching friends and family - some that I have known forever and some I have only been blessed with in the past few years - I realized once again how great it is to have a village.  To have people to share the happy and fun times with, heck, to make the happy and fun times happen!

The fact of the matter is, humans are pack animals - we need each other to live life to the fullest, even if we hate to admit it.   So the next time you find yourself thinking 'Seriously, people are a pain in the arse, grrrrr' try to remember the fun times, like the time you watched a Peep drown in a pink jelly bean martini while listening to your crazy friends and family talk over a meal...oh wait, that's just me. :)

How do we - how do I - handle curve balls?

Today Spring rewarded our fair little city with freezing temperatures.  Yes, I know, some of you got snow. I live in Texas, if we got snow in April there might be mutiny and the city might shut down for a week just because they are angry.  Freezing temps in April after a 70 degree day; it got me thinking about curve balls and how this is Mother Nature's curve ball.  A silly little one that is easy to hit out of the park with a polar fleece and cute scarf.

I moved most of my childhood life.  For most of it, I was too young to realize that everyone didn't move as much as we did.  I remember moving from KY and being very sad; I remember being sad and angry every move after that.  I have blogged how mom would sing Run for the Roses.  I remember thinking that 'maybe this time we are staying put - we aren't going to move.' until my parents would tell us were moving to next state.  Tears would ensue, and not just from me as I remember crying with mom more than once - a moving curve ball.  One I hit with a song, new friends and a new address.

It is April 15th, and a year ago we mourned a terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon.  If you have read this blog at all, you know that I am a runner, a late blooming runner who usually enjoys the scenery than the speed, but a runner nonetheless.  I was watching the Boston Marathon last year and cheering for the victors.  Then, a short time later I got a text from my mom that someone had bombed the Boston Marathon.  I knew people (via Facebook so no, I have never shook their hand or hugged them but I still consider them a part of the running team) running the marathon.  I knew people who had families up there cheering and all we knew was something had happened and people where hurt.  I blogged about it two separate times (here and here). A curve ball - a much more serious curve ball than freezing temps or moving to be sure, but a curve ball for all of us.  A hard, fast curve ball.  Monday we will hit that curve out of the park with the 2014 Boston Marathon and between now and then, many of us will be running in honor of last year's event.  Nothing will stop us.

All of those are examples, albeit ranging in severity, of curve balls that aren't the most positive of experiences but we hit them.  I hit them - begrudgingly and after striking out first perhaps - but I hit them. (Yes, I know the cold & moving are NOTHING compared to Boston and I am not trying to compare them but it was a curve ball for all of us.)

What about good curves?  Sweet spot curve balls?  Well heck, I have plenty of those, they are home runs.

• New job with new responsibilities that open doors and allow me to meet new friends (from their spouse no less)
• New schools that led to life long friends (I sense a trend...)
• Going grey at 18 that led me to have fun with various shades of brown (this brunette does have more fun with friends...)
• Unhealthy check-up resulting in boot camps and running leading to amazing new friends (there is that friend trend again...)
• Being single again, resulting in going solo to an auction and meeting the Big Guy (ooo - love)
• The kiddo - greatest home run of my life

Moral of this disconnected blog?  Don't hate the curve ball, find a way to hit it out of the park even if it takes time or tears (or yelling, or punching of a heavy bag) first. Jackie Robinson didn't shy from the curve - step into the box and hit that curve.

This happened in my life - good or bad and I survived

Often I post happy pictures of me in races, before, during and after.  It makes me smile to run with so many friends - yes, it as much a social event as it is exercise sometimes.  This weekend I ran back to back half marathons.  Get all your "Erin, you have lost your damned mind.  Why would you do that? How is that healthy?" and other comments out now....okay, ready?  This weekend, I ran back to back half marathons with many friends.  If I had pictures with all of them individually, there would be so many of me smiling, laughing, singing and dance running in my tutu (Tutu Power for Life thank you very much).

That is not what this is about, this post is about the time in between the start and finish lines.  The miles 7, 8, 9 on Sunday when the rain was pouring down and I thought about quitting.  Most of my posts are about the joyous events in my life, or the kids who I adore and learn so much from.  Right now, I have a post about an amazing night The Big Guy and I spent celebrating our kids but this is not that post.  This post is about me being human.

This morning I was sitting in the car and heard Christina Perri's new song 'Only Human' and I knew I had to write this entry.

Saturday, the weather was great and while the race was hard, the miles seemed to go by with me thinking of my wonderful friend Lauren who has lived an amazing life with MS and will continue to outlive me for many years to come.  No, she has no desire to be a half crazy girl by running 13.1, (she is full on crazy for being my best friend however) but she is so strong and this Saturday we will once again celebrate finding a cure to MS at the Walk MS.  Lauren never lets anything stop her, whether she believes that or not.  I admire her - and I hope every day she knows that.

Sunday was a different story.  Sunday it was cold and raining.  Sunday I was sore from the hills the day before and the broken tooth I had worked on.  Sunday I was exhausted...as the Kiddo told me 'it's because you fatigued your body mom - duh.'  Sunday I was with friends but none of us wanted to be out in the rain.  Sunday I was running for Paul who a year ago got a new heart from a generous donor who is in heaven.  Sunday, I had more than a moment where there was more than rain streaming down my cheeks.  Sunday I cried somewhere around mile 9 not sure why I was out there.  I had nothing to prove to anyone.  I didn't have to be a Streaker (6 Mellew races).  I didn't have to finish my 15th half.  I didn't have to take one more step.  Sunday I almost gave up.  Sunday I was reminded again how human I am. That same mile I dug deep, I thought of Paul and how, like Lauren, he probably has no desire to be a half crazy runner but he never gives up and now has a new heart that will allow him to outlive me.  I apologized in my head (and maybe out loud at that point - only the rain knows that) to Paul and kept running.  It wasn't fast, it wasn't pretty but it was what I could do at that moment.  Thank you for being there Paul.

I am not writing any of this for sympathy or for validation.  I am writing this as a reminder that we are all human and not every moment is smiles, colors and joy.  But they are all OUR moments and good or bad - we survive them.

This weekend, and so many others, happened in my life and I survived it and wouldn't trade the time I spent for anything.  I am only human and I will continue to be so - step by step.

It seems we all need a reminder - let yourself be a champion

I see so many wonderful stories via social media of work that people are doing to help each other out through prayers, money, a hug, a kind word.  Some of these people have never met face to face and some never will; some see each other everyday, or once a week, a month...

Life is so very short and we are all in it together.  Yesterday I wrote about the kiddo and his team, how they could teach us to be Champions for each other.  Today, I listened to the song again as I worked and thought I would post the lyrics.  Maybe it will help just one person to realize the champion they are, or that they can be if they only let themselves.

Yeah, You could be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the king kong banging on your chest
You can beat the world
You can win the war
You can talk to God, go banging on his door (yeah)

You can throw your hands up
You can beat the clock
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master

Don't wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you could find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame (yeah)

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile
You can be the hero
You can get the gold
Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke

Do it for your people
Do it for your pride
Never gonna know if you never even try
Do it for your country
Do it for you name
Cause there's gonna be a day

When you're standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame (yeah)

Be The Champion 3x

On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be truth seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame
And the world's gonna know your name
Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world's gonna know your name
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

(You can be a champion)
You could be the greatest
(You can be a champion)
You can be the best
(You can be a champion)
You can be the king kong banging on your chest

(You can be a champion)
You could beat the world
(You can be a championnnn)
You could beat the war
(You can be a champion)
You could talk to God, go banging on his door
(You can be a champion)

You can throw your hands up
(You can be a champion)
You can be the clock
(You can be a champion)
You can move a mountain
(You can be a champion)
You can break rocks

(You can be a champion)
You can be a master
(You can be a champion)
Don't wait for luck
(You can be a champion)

Dedicate yourself and you could find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame 

Learn from the Men from Others (again) - Be a Champion

Tonight ended the basketball season for the kiddo.  It ended without a victory and before the boys wanted, but, it was a great season nonetheless.  The kiddo works for the Varsity team, and tonight, as they were leaving, one of the players called his name and hugged him thanking him for a great season.  That resulted in hugs by the players, shared tears, and shared admiration all around.  This was the end of a long season where these boys fought back to Burn the Boats and end as Tri-District Champs.  The student section drown out the solemn drone of the game clock as it counted down with a chant that we can be heard at many Jesuit games - WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

Earlier this season, as the kiddo and I drove by Baylor stadium, a song came on that always makes me think of him - more on that in a second.  I made it a point to say Baylor Stadium as he got the opportunity to practice there with the football team after they won their game at the Cotton Bowl, another awesome moment.  The Ranger's season ended in Waco, tears, admiration, hugs, and again to the chant from those students who drove to Waco from Dallas - WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

Back to the song.  Every time I hear this song, I think of the kiddo.  He isn't able to play the sports he wants (according to once coach, he is an athlete in his head) but I have no doubt in my mind that he is going to be in the Hall of Fame.  I don't know which one, and it may not be an official Hall of Fame, but a Hall of Fame nonetheless.  Tonight this song is for all these boys, the players & manager - some may never play basketball on an organized team again, some may never know the joy of a winning season or a comeback like these boys did - and the fans - those Men For Others that once again stood by their fellow men and cheered WE LOVE OUR TEAM.

You can be a champion - Kiddo, you WILL be sitting in the Hall of Fame.  We all can learn from these boys...be a champion my friends and remember WE LOVE OUR TEAM!

If you listen to day to day life, you will laugh in spite of yourself!

File Under...Teenage Boys are Mysteries

DPS Tester:  "You wore a tie just for me?"
Kiddo:  "No, I have to manage a game tonight, this is my uniform."
Yes, he put on a tie (and not a polo shirt) for the game on a day when school was cancelled due to ice. This was not because he will have this picture for three years and I cannot force him out of shorts in 40 degree weather normally - just to be clear...

Tall One: "You have your license, you get to drive now!"
Kiddo: "Why would I do that?  You drive just fine - I am a good rider."
What child doesn't want to drive once they have their license?  Mine, and apparently others from the moms I talked too.

File Under...It is always fun around my house

Big Guy: "This is my favorite ice cream."
Me:  "Actually, it's mine - not yours - Pecan Praline.  That is why I bought the littlest one and not a big one to share."
Big Guy: (while eating it) "Oh wait, my favorite is butter pecan.  This is not that. But this does have pecans."
Me: "Ya think?"
I shall be hiding my ice cream, just in case, maybe under frozen veggies.

Me:  "Okay, I don't remember having to look up at you quite so much."
Tall One:  "Maybe you are closer to me.  Or have smaller shoes.  Or you are short.  Or you are shrinking.  That is it, you are shrinking and I am not."
I am not shrinking, but I think I need heels on my slippers.

Me: "Do not eat that chili in that shirt and tie, you will make a mess and that means more work for me."
1 minute later...
Big Guy: "Why are you striping in the kitchen?"
Kiddo: "Food is down here, why would I waste time going upstairs? I am still in boxers, totally allowed."
I have had to make a 'No Nakedity in the downstairs common area' rule - no, this is not a joke.

Part Two - the party never ends!

Me:  "How was your day?"
Kiddo:  "It was good."
Me: "Oh so nothing exciting happened?"
Kiddo: "Well I got to cut down the home net with the team because we are the champs. AND IT WAS AWESOME."
Funny how he drew me in with 'it was good' only to end with how awesome it was...oh, and his part of the net is by his piece of the court.

Me: "Ready for your project?"
Tall One:  "Don't have to be until after school & we better be."
Me: "Um, and will it be?"
Tall One: "Friend gave a great speech to motivate us.  Shawn White practiced for 4 years and failed.  We have only worked for 2 weeks, so if you think about it, even if we fail, we win."
Me: "That is not good logic."
Tall One: "Works for us!"
Teenage boys have such a way with words...oh, and I have no doubt they will pull it out and get an A, they always do somehow!

Whatever you do - don't forget to lift your feet while throwing salt

Last night ended with the kiddo dancing around the house thanking the 'Sweet Lord Baby Jesus' because school was cancelled for today.  I have mentioned before, we are a boy house and, to that end, you never quite know what situation the day might bring.  It is always entertaining to be sure and last night was no exception.

He then went on to explain the four people who determine how school is cancelled and how the story is that if one of the assistant principals cannot walk over a bridge at his house without slipping, school would be cancelled.  This is one of those stories that no one really knows if it is the truth or not - he went on to explain - but the boys all live by it.  I wonder if any pour water on that bridge...nevermind.

Moving on, it got me thinking, what other things do I do that aren't based in truth yet I believe over the years for one reason or another.

1. I always lift my feet when going over railroad tracks (in a vehicle, I don't actually jump over them when walking or running, that would result in me falling and I need no additional reasons to trip and fall, thanks.  Big Joy told me that it was good luck one year and it stuck, I am sure she laughs at me from heaven every time as I drive over them no less than four times a day)
2. I throw salt over my shoulder when I spill it (much to the chagrin of anyone who has to clean it up after me when I forget I am no where near a sink - thanks Bill)
3. I always touch the outside of the plane with my right hand before getting on it (no idea - but I don't mess with it)
4. I wear my sunglasses on my Hot Chocolate hat when I run even if I don't need them (yup, night time runs too)
5. I ask God to bless everyone and everything in the world before I go to bed each night (don't want to leave anyone or anything out)

I am sure the list continues and it was fun to be thinking about it as I drove in this morning, over the railroad tracks, with my feet lifted up.  What do you do?  Let's have some fun on Friday...list them!

Choices

I have had to make choices over the past year that are not always easy, not always fun, and certainly not always popular but they are always mine.

This weekend was AMAZING.  One of those, won't trade it for anything else in the world kind of things.  I got to spend time with my family celebrating life, celebrating boys, celebrating teenage-hood, celebrating mother/son time, celebrating road trip mother/daughter style, just celebrating.  While two very important parts of my family didn't get to take part in the fun, they were there in spirit and, from the stories I heard, had a good time staying home by kicking some rugby arse and chilling football style.

Friday night was all about victory and brotherhood.  As you have read in many of my posts, the Jesuit men never disappoint when it comes to cheering on their brothers on the hardwood.  Friday was no different.

Saturday, road trip, seeing family and surprising the kiddo with a basketball game of 'EPIC' proportions.  Texas rocking the Jayhawks as only the burnt orange can.  The kiddo not only happy to be seen with me in public but actually loving sharing that time with me.  Then getting to spend the evening with Grandma and Pop Pop (even if Duke let the kiddo & his Pop Pop down) as we have done since he was 3 months old.  

Sunday meant a very hilly adventure (thanks hill country of Austin) to the most beautiful little church and an amazing Catholic community.  I wish I lived closer, I would go there every week.  More family and the 'oh my gosh, the world is going to ice over' road trip home.  With mandatory stops in West (kolaches, hello - priorities) and Little Italy (pronounced Eye-Tawl-EE thank you very much), mom & I sang and talked our way back home to the country.  No ice to be found by the way, but I am over the cold.  We live in Texas for goodness sake, not Ohio!  The Super Bowl game was a disappointment for only me as the sole Manning supporter in the house, but having everyone under one roof again was pretty great, I cannot lie.

To have this AMAZING weekend, I made choices on what to miss and what to attend.  While others may not have made those choices, they were the perfect choices for me and I would make them again.  Sometimes, eating the bear means putting you & yours first - and that bear tasted GREAT.

To motivate or not to motivate...that is the question

I cannot tell a lie, today's post is motivated by a friend who I have not known long but that has motivated me many more times than I know, and for that I am so very grateful.

Life is made up of many different people, thoughts, beliefs and they all make the world go round.  I have friends who motivate me, each in their own way, and I am not sure they know it.  Some through their words, some through their actions, some through their ability to just get through a situation no matter how hard.  I have had friends reach out to me and thank me for motivating them that I didn't even realize I was touching!

On the other hand, sometimes people say and do things that hurt.  I like to think unintentionally, that they do it because they don't understand, because they are having a bad day, because they don't understand the situation.

So What?

You never know who you are motivating or pushing down with your words, your actions.  I am as guilty of this as anyone - I am sure I am way to hard on people (my kids would stand up and yell HELL YES at this moment I have a feeling) and hurt them without meaning it.  I can only hope that I motivate people as much as they motivate me because so many people do, everyday.

It goes back to my post from yesterday about a village, we all live in this village - let's try to find the best in it!  And to those of you who have motivated me and continue to do so, thank you, I couldn't do it with out each one of you!

I have a thing for elephants, they are a community...
and they are cute :)

Village People - because there is no Community People song

We write about what we know, that could be why I write about the kids and how we can learn from them - a lot.  This entry isn't going to be any different it seems...

Friday, the Tall One went to school and we didn't see him again until Sunday morning when he headed out the door for rugby boot camp.  This 2 day adventure is AMAZING for the team, even if they don't realize it when they are struggling to stay away at 8:30pm at night.  From Friday through Sunday they spend time as a team working out, eating, praying, team building.  Sunday it ends with an intra-team scrimmage and a family potluck as Rugby is all about community, not just your team, and, as the Coach said, their whole community includes their family, their home.  We, the families, sit around with the players and coaches and just take a moment to enjoy a meal together as it should be enjoyed, as an event with your 'village'.  I got to meet new families and see old friends - what a blessed meal that was.

At that same time, the Kiddo was with his Pop Pop at the service project for the basketball team.  As a team, they were working on the new donation center for Catholic Charities, painting.  I laughed with one of the moms late who commented that this was as good for the boys as it was for the center as some of them had to learn how to open ladders and how to paint!  This was the Kiddo's community for the afternoon - hanging with his buddies, painting to help out their village.  And even better?  He got to hang out with his Pop Pop, and that is always a special time.

Later that night, we were all together at the football banquet.  The banquet, honoring the seniors, was quite moving as the boys watched the highlight reel and realized just how far they had come this year.  Yes, the team had gone further in the playoffs than ever before, but it was more than that.  This team was the little engine that could, and at the end, the seniors challenged the underclassmen to keep up the work - to be strong.  The night was full of jokes, and stories, it was another one of their communities. Seeing the boys in their element (again), I had nothing but pride and a sense of security knowing that they have found their place in this world today.  I know I say that often, but I am reminded often and sometimes I need that reminder!

What is the point (if you are still reading this far down after me talking about the kids again) of all this?  We all have villages that make up our whole community.  Family, friends, team mates (runners - I am talking to you), peers at work, church, FB friends you have never met in person, the list can go on and on.  Value your community, the good the bad as we all have something to offer.  Having a good day?  Rely your community.  Having a bad day?  Rely on your community.  Just have a regular day? Rely on your community.  I am as guilty as anyone - being human and all - forgetting that my community is here for me as much as I am for them.  Don't just turn to them when you need help, likewise, don't just turn to them to celebrate.  Go paint a warehouse, go have a meal, go have a highlight night, send a message, send a text, or pick up the phone - a novel idea!  How have you valued your community?  Share as you never know who it might touch in your village...

Flying into the future with a blue dog & flying kid

I ended last year as I have the past 2 years - with a race on New Year's Eve and one on New Year's Day with the kiddo.  As I watched him (far, far) in front of me I was moved at the beauty of watching him run alone on the path.  It was peaceful despite the music rushing through my ears and I was moved at how he looked so free, just him and the road.  Amazing.

Of course, there were many pictures after the fact and as I reviewed them, it struck me how much he has grown the past 3 years.  I don't just mean physically, although he could put his head on my shoulder the first year and now I have to put my head on his, I mean mentally as well.  He is a confident kid running at the front of the pack without a second thought.   He is no longer nervous walking into school, onto the basketball court, onto the field.  He knows he belongs and just goes to work - whatever the work happens to be at the time - always looking forward.

Yesterday I was cleaning out my briefcase and found his old Blue's Clues mailbox sticker. He gave me this sticker when he was a little boy and I taped it to my monitor where it stayed until I got a new one last year.  Clearly, I couldn't throw it away as it still remains with me, in my briefcase.   The past came rushing back of him solving whatever mystery Blue had for him that week in his big chair.  Even then, he knew he would solve the problem.

What's the point?  I could have easily gotten stuck in the past with those pictures, with that sticker; it was easier when he was little and I could hug away the problems, the fears, the scary parts.  There past where my little angel thought there was nothing his mommy couldn't do but I don't want to do that, or go back there.  I loved spending time with him as is our tradition, I love that sometimes he still needs a hug (yes, I hug him even if I don't hug - he is an exception to the bubble), I love that he ran out front into an unknown future and does so every day.  I love that one day he has a problem that will 'end the world' and the next day, he goes to work and figures it out.

Moral - I don't do resolutions but I do embrace the present and look towards the future; my kiddo reminds me of that, even if he doesn't realize it.  We sit down in our thinking chair or we put one foot in front of the other and we solve the problem.  The past demands it of us.

I don't run with my phone, or a camera, so I didn't get a picture of him a head of the pack
but thanks to one of my running friends, I will always have this one of the kiddo flying.