Monday, April 29, 2019

Rebuilding - not always easy but not always hard either! Give yourself a chance!

I have been writing mini-entries on FB about my OTF journey, but not on this blog even though I said I was going to write.  It isn't that I don't have entries in my head, I am constantly writing in my head, it is that they occur when I am in the car, at the grocery store, in the studio, or anywhere that I don't have a computer or even the ability to jot things down in one of my many journals.  The last entry was February and now it is the end of April.  In traditional fashion, I mean to write and then I let life take over and I just don't.  Well, today that ends (again) and it comes with a new promise to myself, I will NOT judge me if (and when) the stall in my writing happens again.

Life is full of ups and downs, everyone knows this.  April has been a month of rebuilding for our family since April 20th four years ago.  Rebuilding can be as small in scope as organizing a closet, preparing flower pots for spring, or changing your hair color.  Rebuilding can also be as large in scope as rebuilding a belief, starting a brand new workout, or learning to walk.  Here is the important thing to remember, rebuilding is daunting, it is your journey and you are allowed to be happy or sad, exhausted or ready to take on the world, feel any way you want.  Oh, and the kicker?  No one can make you feel any one way or another - only you can - but they can help make it all a little easier and worth it if you let them.  Sounds smart right?  Yeah, well, I don't live by it all the time, but I try!

This April was a rebuilding month (after a March with the flu and all the fun that comes with that recovery) - it was not always easy, and not always hard.  I have a new garden, cleaner kitchen cabinets, and thanks to a lot of work this weekend - clean carpets again.  I have lost the fear of going and working out with a new routine and new people and reminded myself that I am worth it, and there is nothing I can't do if I set wise and realistic goals.  In short, I have made small changes and am ready to end rebuilding April with a bang and finding those May flowers!

Oh, and to starting to write down all my crazy thoughts again, whether they are read or not!

March started with the attitude of Priscilla (and a little sass),
April ends with an attitude of I can do it (and a little sass)