To motivate or not to motivate...that is the question

I cannot tell a lie, today's post is motivated by a friend who I have not known long but that has motivated me many more times than I know, and for that I am so very grateful.

Life is made up of many different people, thoughts, beliefs and they all make the world go round.  I have friends who motivate me, each in their own way, and I am not sure they know it.  Some through their words, some through their actions, some through their ability to just get through a situation no matter how hard.  I have had friends reach out to me and thank me for motivating them that I didn't even realize I was touching!

On the other hand, sometimes people say and do things that hurt.  I like to think unintentionally, that they do it because they don't understand, because they are having a bad day, because they don't understand the situation.

So What?

You never know who you are motivating or pushing down with your words, your actions.  I am as guilty of this as anyone - I am sure I am way to hard on people (my kids would stand up and yell HELL YES at this moment I have a feeling) and hurt them without meaning it.  I can only hope that I motivate people as much as they motivate me because so many people do, everyday.

It goes back to my post from yesterday about a village, we all live in this village - let's try to find the best in it!  And to those of you who have motivated me and continue to do so, thank you, I couldn't do it with out each one of you!

I have a thing for elephants, they are a community...
and they are cute :)

Village People - because there is no Community People song

We write about what we know, that could be why I write about the kids and how we can learn from them - a lot.  This entry isn't going to be any different it seems...

Friday, the Tall One went to school and we didn't see him again until Sunday morning when he headed out the door for rugby boot camp.  This 2 day adventure is AMAZING for the team, even if they don't realize it when they are struggling to stay away at 8:30pm at night.  From Friday through Sunday they spend time as a team working out, eating, praying, team building.  Sunday it ends with an intra-team scrimmage and a family potluck as Rugby is all about community, not just your team, and, as the Coach said, their whole community includes their family, their home.  We, the families, sit around with the players and coaches and just take a moment to enjoy a meal together as it should be enjoyed, as an event with your 'village'.  I got to meet new families and see old friends - what a blessed meal that was.

At that same time, the Kiddo was with his Pop Pop at the service project for the basketball team.  As a team, they were working on the new donation center for Catholic Charities, painting.  I laughed with one of the moms late who commented that this was as good for the boys as it was for the center as some of them had to learn how to open ladders and how to paint!  This was the Kiddo's community for the afternoon - hanging with his buddies, painting to help out their village.  And even better?  He got to hang out with his Pop Pop, and that is always a special time.

Later that night, we were all together at the football banquet.  The banquet, honoring the seniors, was quite moving as the boys watched the highlight reel and realized just how far they had come this year.  Yes, the team had gone further in the playoffs than ever before, but it was more than that.  This team was the little engine that could, and at the end, the seniors challenged the underclassmen to keep up the work - to be strong.  The night was full of jokes, and stories, it was another one of their communities. Seeing the boys in their element (again), I had nothing but pride and a sense of security knowing that they have found their place in this world today.  I know I say that often, but I am reminded often and sometimes I need that reminder!

What is the point (if you are still reading this far down after me talking about the kids again) of all this?  We all have villages that make up our whole community.  Family, friends, team mates (runners - I am talking to you), peers at work, church, FB friends you have never met in person, the list can go on and on.  Value your community, the good the bad as we all have something to offer.  Having a good day?  Rely your community.  Having a bad day?  Rely on your community.  Just have a regular day? Rely on your community.  I am as guilty as anyone - being human and all - forgetting that my community is here for me as much as I am for them.  Don't just turn to them when you need help, likewise, don't just turn to them to celebrate.  Go paint a warehouse, go have a meal, go have a highlight night, send a message, send a text, or pick up the phone - a novel idea!  How have you valued your community?  Share as you never know who it might touch in your village...

Flying into the future with a blue dog & flying kid

I ended last year as I have the past 2 years - with a race on New Year's Eve and one on New Year's Day with the kiddo.  As I watched him (far, far) in front of me I was moved at the beauty of watching him run alone on the path.  It was peaceful despite the music rushing through my ears and I was moved at how he looked so free, just him and the road.  Amazing.

Of course, there were many pictures after the fact and as I reviewed them, it struck me how much he has grown the past 3 years.  I don't just mean physically, although he could put his head on my shoulder the first year and now I have to put my head on his, I mean mentally as well.  He is a confident kid running at the front of the pack without a second thought.   He is no longer nervous walking into school, onto the basketball court, onto the field.  He knows he belongs and just goes to work - whatever the work happens to be at the time - always looking forward.

Yesterday I was cleaning out my briefcase and found his old Blue's Clues mailbox sticker. He gave me this sticker when he was a little boy and I taped it to my monitor where it stayed until I got a new one last year.  Clearly, I couldn't throw it away as it still remains with me, in my briefcase.   The past came rushing back of him solving whatever mystery Blue had for him that week in his big chair.  Even then, he knew he would solve the problem.

What's the point?  I could have easily gotten stuck in the past with those pictures, with that sticker; it was easier when he was little and I could hug away the problems, the fears, the scary parts.  There past where my little angel thought there was nothing his mommy couldn't do but I don't want to do that, or go back there.  I loved spending time with him as is our tradition, I love that sometimes he still needs a hug (yes, I hug him even if I don't hug - he is an exception to the bubble), I love that he ran out front into an unknown future and does so every day.  I love that one day he has a problem that will 'end the world' and the next day, he goes to work and figures it out.

Moral - I don't do resolutions but I do embrace the present and look towards the future; my kiddo reminds me of that, even if he doesn't realize it.  We sit down in our thinking chair or we put one foot in front of the other and we solve the problem.  The past demands it of us.

I don't run with my phone, or a camera, so I didn't get a picture of him a head of the pack
but thanks to one of my running friends, I will always have this one of the kiddo flying.